Day 14: AngerProverbs 16:32 Whoever is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit than he who takes a city. Children often breathe their parents’ second-hand anger. At my son’s back-to-school night, I noticed one student’s artwork with the entire page scribbled in red crayon.
The teacher asked, “What’s that a picture of?” The little boy answered, “It’s my daddy. He’s really, really mad.”
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Day 13: AnxietyProverbs 12:25 Anxiety in a man’s heart weighs him down, but a good word makes him glad. I was lost, driving through an unfamiliar neighborhood when my GPS died. I looked around my car, but could not locate a single map. (Yes, there was a day when maps were made of paper.) Since I get anxious when I don’t know where I’m driving, I began to feel a headache and a terrible feeling in my stomach. I was also running low on gas and late for an appointment. Then I had a second appointment after that one, which I would probably miss as well and have to pay late fees. My fear started spinning out of control. Then, at that moment, another car blocked my lane . . . .
Day 12: FollyProverbs 22:15 Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline drives it far from him. Your child is a fool. I hate to break it to you, but your child is a wisdom-rejecting, common sense-shirking, God-denying fool. One night, my sons devised a new game called America’s Greatest Talent which required training in their bedroom when they should have been asleep. Course challenges involved scuttling the bookshelf and scaling the bunk bed (without the ladder, of course). The greatest talent was to leap from the top bunk and land on a pillow the size of a postage stamp just inches from the wall (all this in the dark). I walked in on them and found it mildly amusing, but my wife was appalled. Like most parents, we cannot count the number of times we have spoken with shock: “What in the world were you thinking?” Dads, teach your children wisdom, for they are foolish by nature: “Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline drives it far from him” (Prov. 22:15). Young fools, unless instructed wisely, will soon become older fools who remain blind in their sin.
Day 11: PrideProverbs 16:18 Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall. Occasionally, you may read a bumper sticker boasting: “I am the proud parent of an honor student at such-and-such school.” Your prideful response may either be, “Psssh! My child is smarter than yours” or “Why don’t you just keep that to yourself.” I’ve even seen the bumper sticker rebuke: “My kid can beat up your honor student.” Pride is one of the greatest pitfalls in parenting (Prov. 16:18), for we usually see pride in others before we see it in ourselves. We blindly believe that proud people must be boastful, yet arrogance need not be flamboyant. Boasters express their pride aloud, while the bashful keep it in. You can be quiet and reserved but still be sanctimonious or you might be like whiny Moses (Exod. 4:10-14a) instead of hardhearted Pharaoh.
Day 10: Planting SeedsProverbs 4:11-12 I have taught you the way of wisdom; I have led you in the paths of uprightness. When you walk, your step will not be hampered, and if you run, you will not stumble. My wife once planted a vegetable garden and, every day, she would water her tomatoes, pull out weeds, and watch for predatory worms and snails. She trained her tomatoes to climb a trellis and tenderly drew them back if they were turning one way or the other. That’s a picture of parenting as an everyday process. One of our sons went through a phase requiring discipline multiple times a day (often for the same offense). It was exhausting to deal with the tantrums, deception, and defiance. But one day at the breakfast table, my sons commented that I hadn’t had to discipline them all year long. That claim was not entirely accurate, but the moments had thankfully grown fewer and farther between.
Day 9: ProtectionProverbs 4:5-6 Get wisdom; get insight; do not forget, and do not turn away from the words of my mouth. Do not forsake her, and she will keep you; love her, and she will guard you. Our family recently welcomed a baby girl into the world. After three boys, God finally gave us a girl. And as her father, the experience is vastly different. Right now, my little girl may look the same as all the boys (apart from the fancy pink clothes). She poops and pees the same and squawks and waves her arms around. She sleeps the same as they did. Yet I personally experience a different feeling when I hold her. It finally struck me one day that the difference was not her, but me. I felt more tenderness for my baby girl and a greater desire to protect her. I worried about her more than I worried about my boys. Whether it’s because she was a helpless infant or my first little girl, I was more concerned for her protection.
Day 8: AuthorityProverbs 27:5-6 Better is open rebuke than hidden love. Faithful are the wounds of a friend; profuse are the kisses of an enemy. Dads, let your words reflect God’s holy Word. Be able to say to your children: “Keep my instruction” in the same breath as you say, “Receive God’s wisdom.” Let them know that if they please the Lord, then they also please you. You are a spokesman for God, not yourself, and especially not for them. Your children, however, will often test parental authority with the penetrating question: “Why?”
“Go wash your hands before supper, dear.” “Why?” “It’s time for bed.” “Why?” “Clean up your room, please.” “Why?” Now certainly as parents we want to encourage curiosity. We want our children asking “Why?” of the world. Yet their knee-jerk response of asking, “Why?” is too often just a clever attempt to disobey. Day 7: Heart DesiresProverbs 4:23 Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life. Dads, have you ever noticed what upsets you? Your wife asks you to take out the trash and you get angry. You gripe and complain, then afterwards think: “Where did that come from?” Or you’re driving in the fast lane, content to go the speed limit and some car tries to pass you on the right. So what do you do? You hit the gas (because now it’s a race that you must win). Yet your accelerating opponent has the element of surprise and cuts you off. As you slam on the brakes, you curse him out (under your breath, of course, because you’re a Christian). Dads, why do you yell at your kids for being late? Or why does your toddler smack his brother in the head with a fire truck? Why does your teenager stomp off to her room and slam the door? “What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you?"
Day 6: GuidanceProverbs 1:5 Let the wise hear and increase in learning, and the one who understands obtain guidance. Many fathers enjoy playing ball with their sons, and our house is no exception. We are often playing catch in the front yard, basketball in the driveway, football on any spare piece of carpet, and (much to my wife’s consternation) broom hockey in the front entryway. Yet even as we play for fun, the coach in me sometimes calls, “Timeout,” to give some guidance: “Catch the ball with two hands. Follow through on your passes. That’s a double-dribble.” Guidance requires the recognition of wrong behavior and the wisdom to correct it.
Day 5: Prudence, Knowledge, and DiscretionProverbs 1:4 To give prudence to the simple, knowledge and discretion to the youth. Like many parents, I cannot count the times I’ve shouted after my retreating boys, “Shut the door!” Always in a hurry to reach their destination, they neglect to finish the task behind them. Certainly their folly is a symptom of forgetfulness, but an even greater folly concerns me as their father. I must teach them to shut the door of their mind after truth has entered in. Thus Proverbs 1:4 introduces still more blessings in God’s Word: “To give prudence to the simple, knowledge and discretion to the youth.” This verse describes two types of people who most need wisdom: the simple and the young. And dads, you must realize that your children are both.
As simpletons, their gullible minds are a literal open space to be crammed with anything and everything (see 14:15a). Being “open-minded” may sound virtuous to a pluralistic society, yet according to Scripture is a dangerous condition. Picture a house with the front door swinging wide open . . . |
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