TLP 87: What Is Successful Parenting?

Are you a successful parent? How would you know? Join AMBrewster as he gives Christian parents an objective standard by which to judge their parenting.

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Episode Notes

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Transcript

Introduction

​Last time we talked about the fact that you can’t be on the same parenting team if you’re not living the one flesh relationship God called you to as a couple. And we talked about what a biblical one flesh relationship looks like. Please check that out if you didn’t hear it already. 

Today we’re continuing the theme of high expectations for our parenting by discussing “What is Successful Parenting?”

All of us want to be successful parents, but what does that look like?

Well, we’re going to discuss that in just a minute.
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I’d like to personally thank Bruce for leaving this 5-star review on iTunes:

1. 1. “Truth.Love.Parent. is a great podcast with succinct, focused, practical, biblical parenting advice. Articulately conveyed and professionally done.”

​Thank you, Bruce, your 5-stars and gracious words make our hearts light, and we appreciate it greatly.

If you’d like to leave us a review, we’d encourage you to do so on iTunes. They don’t make it super easy if you’re already subscribed. You actually have to type “Truth Love Parent” in the search bar, click on the show, then click on “Ratings and Reviews.”

And you can also leave a review on Facebook. Just go to Truth.Love.Parent. on Facebook and tell us what you think!
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​Alright, so what is successful parenting?

Topic

I’d have to wager there are just about as many definitions of “successful” as there are people defining it. Just check out Pinterest and you’ll see countless examples of what people consider successful parenting to be. 

It may be a project or a curricula or a mantra, but it will be there set up as a high-definition, perfectly-lit, well-edited standard for good parenting.

But here at TLP we don’t hide the fact that we believe God’s definition of words is the only one that matters. 
I believe all Christians should care more about what God says than what man says, and I think they should care more about how He says it as well.

Today I want to look at one main passage. It’s not considered a “parenting passage,” and you may not have even considered it as an answer to today’s question. But I believe there’s no better answer.

So, let’s turn to I Corinthians 4.

As you read through the Pauline Epistles, I hope you’re constantly awed by how many times Paul refers to himself as a servant. Over half of the times he uses the word servant, he’s referring to himself, and most of the others are referring to his fellow followers of Christ.

But in I Corinthians 4 he adds another word to his job title. Verse one reads: “This is how one should regard us, as servants of Christ and stewards of the mysteries of God.” 

I love that word “stewards.” Merriam-Webster’s first definitions is: “one employed in a large household or estate to manage domestic concerns.” It’s fifth definition refers to its position more broadly by saying, “one who actively directs affairs.”

Here's the idea: if you hired someone to live in your home — whose chief responsibility was to facilitate and manage all the domestic concerns — I imagine you’d have some pretty high standards for them. 

We generally have high standards for the domestic concerns of our homes, and most of us aren’t even paying anyone. When you add the checkbook into the equation, our standards shoot up that much more. And I think that’s appropriate.

So, what would be your expectations for a steward? How would you judge their success at their job? No doubt, there would be some differences in our lists partially because our homes are different, our domestic concerns are varied, and our personal priorities differ from one another. 

But I think it’s safe to assume that you’d want your steward to be just as good as Joseph in the Egypt. Consider Genesis 39:1-6,

“Now Joseph had been brought down to Egypt, and Potiphar, an officer of Pharaoh, the captain of the guard, an Egyptian, had bought him from the Ishmaelites who had brought him down there. The Lord was with Joseph, and he became a successful man, and he was in the house of his Egyptian master. His master saw that the Lord was with him and that the Lord caused all that he did to succeed in his hands. So Joseph found favor in his sight and attended him, and he made him overseer of his house and put him in charge of all that he had. From the time that he made him overseer in his house and over all that he had, the Lord blessed the Egyptian's house for Joseph's sake; the blessing of the Lord was on all that he had, in house and field. So he [Potiphar] left all that he had in Joseph's charge, and because of him he had no concern about anything but the food he ate.”

Yeah, I’m pretty sure that’s the kind of stewardship we’d expect from our investment.

Well, does it come as a surprise that God has high expectations for His stewards as well? Who are His stewards? All of His children have been tasked with stewarding a number of things. The Bible calls us stewards of God’s grace, gifts, Truth, faith, and the mysteries of God. 

In addition, though we may not be specifically referred to as stewards, it’s clear from Scripture that Christian parents are stewards of their children. 

Listen, these kids don’t belong to us. They’re God’s. We’ve simply been tasked with “managing the domestic concerns.” And it’s a huge responsibility. May we be as spectacular parents as Joseph was a household steward.

Okay, so back to I Corinthians 4. Paul says,

“This is how one should regard us, as servants of Christ and stewards of the mysteries of God.” Then he continues: in verse two “Moreover, it is required of stewards that they be found faithful.”

hat my friends is the standard of success.

God hasn’t called you to change your kids. He hasn’t tasked you with guaranteeing a certain level of academic affluence, or laying a solid financial foundation. "It is required in stewards that a [parent] be found faithful.”

That word “faithful” means “trustworthy.” Basically, you are a successful parent if you parent the way God has commanded you. 

You may not have a high-resolution, perfectly-lit, well-edited baker’s dozen of Disney-themed cupcakes for your child’s birthday. You may not have remembered to post a picture of your child holding a mini-chalkboard proclaiming their grade this year. You may not have matched all the paint and decorations in your child’s bedroom perfectly because your budget only allows you to have second-hand furniture. And you may not have started a mom-blog to share the miracle that is your housekeeping with the internet.

But that’s okay because that’s not the measure of parental success.

Have you been faithful to the parental calling God has given everyone blessed to have children? So many of our episodes deal directly with God’s expectations for our parenting, but I really want to encourage you to listen to episodes 26 and 27. It’s a short series called “The Fifth Way to Parent.” Those episodes will lay the groundwork for us understanding the only parenting style that glorifies God. I also encourage you to listen to our series on “Anti-Terrorism in Your Home.” It starts with “Parenting a Terrorist” on episode 37. And, by all means, please stick around for episodes 90 and 92, and our upcoming series called “The Merest Christianity” which — I believe — may present the quintessential guide for biblical parenting.

Let’s close today by going back through that short paragraph about Joseph’s stewardship:

“Now Joseph had been brought down to Egypt, and Potiphar, an officer of Pharaoh, the captain of the guard, an Egyptian, had bought him from the Ishmaelites who had brought him down there. The Lord was with Joseph, and he became a successful man, and he was in the house of his Egyptian master. His master saw that the Lord was with him and that the Lord caused all that he did to succeed in his hands. So Joseph found favor in his sight and attended him, and he made him overseer of his house and put him in charge of all that he had. From the time that he made him overseer in his house and over all that he had, the Lord blessed the Egyptian's house for Joseph's sake; the blessing of the Lord was on all that he had, in house and field. So he [Potiphar] left all that he had in Joseph's charge, and because of him he had no concern about anything but the food he ate.”

What made Joseph a successful steward? It was one thing and one thing only: The Lord was with Joseph. This is another way of saying that Joseph was faithful to the Lord.
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His allegiance to God governed everything he did. He did his job to the best of his ability, he was fair, just, hard-working, joyful despite persecution, honest, and — when it came to Potiphar’s wife — he was pure.

Conclusion

​What about you? Do you parent the way God has commanded in His word? Do you parent for the reasons God has outlined? Are your goals God’s goals? Are your responses a reflection of Christ?

We parents have been called to steward our children, and in order to do that successfully, we must — I need to say that again — we must be faithful to God and His Word. 

Are you faithful? Let me ask it this way, does God trust you to parent the way He commands?

If you’re realizing that perhaps you haven’t been a successful parent because you realize that you have not been parenting like Christ, then please feel free to contact us at [email protected]. We’d love to help.

And don’t miss our next episode. We’ll be discussing the social media apps you thought were safe for your kids, but aren’t.

And speaking of social media, I encourage you to check out our social media page on TruthLoveParent.com. There you’ll find links to all of our social media accounts like Facebook, Twitter, Instagram . . . and yes, even Pinterest.

Listen, none of us are perfect parents. But we can be successful parents when we faithfully give our children God’s Truth with God’s love.
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See you next time.