TLP 63: Evangelism Parenting

6/13/2017

Join AMBrewster to discuss Evangelism Parenting and learn to tie the Gospel to everyday life.

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Episode Notes

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Transcript

Introduction

For those of you who haven’t yet figured out if your children are Hard, Rocky, Thorny, or Soft-Hearted — I suggest you listen to The Four Children, episodes 55-59.

For the rest of you, if you believe your children are Hard, Rocky, or Thorny, than the sad reality is that they’re unsaved even though they may appear very spiritually minded or enjoy doing biblical things.

I’ve communicated with many of you recently, and — though coming to the conclusion that your child likely isn’t born again is a heavy reality — at least you know your children needs an Evangelist Parent.

But more on that in a minute.

On iTunes we currently have nine amazing reviews and twelve 5-star ratings. Will you please consider adding to those numbers? TeamTLP and I would greatly appreciate it because the more 5-star ratings and positive reviews we have the more searching parents can find our podcast and hear how God’s Word applies to their parenting. And the more people who subscribe to TLP and download our episodes, the better chances we have of getting onto New & Noteworthy list which increases our exposure.

So, thank you in advance for your help!

Okay, so what exactly is Evangelism Parenting?

Topic

The first question we need to answer is . . .

What’s an Evangelist?

The biblical office on an evangelist is a “publisher of glad tidings.” In a modern context, often this individual travels frequently from church to church. This makes them less like a traditional pastor because their main goal is to introduce as many people to the Gospel as possible. After leading a soul to Christ, they connect them with a local body of believers to help them in their discipleship and sanctification.

In regard to parenting, I use the term “Evangelism Parenting” to refer to a specific form of child-rearing that focuses on introducing a lost child to Christ so that they follow Him and are born again into the family of God. In the strictest sense, the parent would cease to be an Evangelist Parent at this point because their child is now a believer. Now they start Discipleship Parenting.

However, I don’t want anyone to be confused. All Ambassador Parenting is Gospel-centered parenting. Evangelism Parenting is simply a stage of Ambassador Parenting that focuses on encouraging your child to accept the Good News of Salvation.

If you don’t know what Ambassador Parenting means, please check out episodes 26 and 27. But my main concern in this discussion is that no one think that once our kids get saved we stop talking about the Gospel. May that never be!

So, let’s discuss what the Gospel is.

What’s the Gospel?

Technically the Gospel is the “good news” of Christ’s life, death, burial, and resurrection. But even though we generally consider those events only during Christmas, Easter, and when witnessing to someone, the reality is that the Gospel needs to motivate our every thought and deed.

In episode 52 I discussed two amazing parenting resources: one of them was TruthLoveParent.com. Right now you can find some helpful information, our episode notes, transcripts, and the like, but in the future we want TruthLoveParent.com to be the hub for all things parenting. But the second resources I mentioned was a book written by Paul Tripp called simply “Parenting.” I think it’s one of the best parenting books out there, and it’s 100% consumed with the Gospel. In the introduction to his book he writes, “I am deeply persuaded that what is missing in most Christian parent’s parenting are the big grand perspectives and principles of the gospel of Jesus Christ. These perspectives and principles are radical and counterintuitive. They’re simply not natural for us, but they’re essential to being what you’re supposed to be and doing what you’re supposed to do as a parent. When you parent with what the gospel says about God, you, your world, your children, and God’s grace, you not only approach parenting in brand-new ways, but you carry the burden of parenting in a very different way.”

So, please understand that Ambassador Parents are consumed with the gospel from beginning to end. But Evangelism Parenting is specifically guiding your child toward salvation through the mundane elements of life.

So, I want to take the remainder of our time getting nitty-gritty about how Evangelism Parenting works from day to day.

What’s Evangelism Parenting?

So, either because your child has never accepted Christ as their Savior, or they made a profession, but you’re concerned they seem to have a Rocky or Thorny-Heart, you should consider the following five steps to being an Evangelist Parent.

Be passionate about your child’s eternal destiny.
1. This may seem like an easy one, but it’s so simple to get sidetracked by the failed potty-training attempt, the dented bumper, the broken curfew, or the failed science project that we mistakenly think these issues are bigger or more important than our child’s salvation.
2. How do we know if we’re not passionate enough about our kids’ relationship with God? Well first, when issues come up in the home, are you more concerned with the behavior and attitude, or are you struck in that moment by your child’s need of a Savior?
3. Second, when things are going well, are you happy to have an obedient child, or are you vividly aware that your respectful, A-student is still an enemy of Christ?
Know the gospel.
1. My assumption is that — if you’re listening to this podcast — you profess to have a relationship with God. So, no doubt you have at least an introductory understanding of salvation: what it is, how we attain it, whether or not we can lose it, etc.
2. But if you’re a little shaky on these elements, I would urge you to get your Bible’s out and start studying. I don’t believe we can have a vibrant relationship with God if we don’t even understand the basics of how to have a relationship with Him in the first place. In fact, there are certain facts about redemption, that if you don’t know them, you can’t be saved. I also encourage you to read an article I wrote called "The First Step to Being a Good Parent."
3. In addition to the personal benefit of understanding the glory and grandeur of our salvation, you’re going to have to be able to introduce your children to them.
4. This is not merely the job of the pastor or Sunday school teacher or Christian school teacher. This is primarily the responsibility of mom and dad. Sure, any born again believer has been called by God to share the Gospel with anyone who hasn’t been born again . . . and that includes your child, but please understand that it’s primarily your privilege.
Understand how the gospel affects everything in life.
1. This is where Paul Tripp’s book, “Parenting” is so helpful. It takes the idea of the Gospel — something too many Christians think only has to do with being saved — and applies it to our parenting.
2. Beyond that, we need it understand how the Gospel works to conform us to Christ, how it’s lived out in our words, actions, feelings, and thoughts, and how any struggle, decision, or activity can be tied back to it.
3. Now, before we move on, I don’t want you to feel overwhelmed. Yes, this is a big topic. I would plead with you again to read “Parenting” by Paul David Tripp. That will be a fantastic place to start.
4. But don’t think that until you can comfortably apply the Gospel to the clothes you wear and the foods you eat, you’re incapable of being an Evangelist Parent. No, be faithful in what you know, and God will entrust you with more as you study and grow.
5. And our kids can’t afford for us to wait.
Speak your child’s need into their life.
1. This is where the pacifier meets the carpet.
2. It’s been said that an alcoholic won’t seek help until he firsts acknowledges that he has a problem.
3. The same is true for sin. Until we see ourselves as God sees us, we won’t think we need saving.
4. This is especially true for kids who are born into a stable home with high expectations for behavior. As they compare themselves to the rest of the world, they feel pretty good about their lives and don’t see the wicked self-worship sitting on the throne of their hearts.
5. It’s so important to help our children see their needs.
  1. I’m constantly reminding my kids why God gave them a mom and dad.
  2. When one of them makes a poor choice, we walk them through why it was destructive and what needs to be done the next time, but we also frequently remind them that they can’t do it on their own. We also tell them that foolishness is knotted up in their hearts, and that only God’s Word can untangle it.
  3. Many people may cringe at this because they’re concerned about their child’s “self-esteem,” but, ladies and gentlemen, we mustn’t buy into that lie. Obviously, it would be a sin to be unkind and unloving while convincing out children of their spiritual inability, but showing a person their sin and their need for a Savior is the most loving thing you can do!
  4. Remember Jesus’ words in the Sermon on the Mount. Until a person becomes convinced of their spiritual poverty, they will never submit to God.
  5. This will take some practice, and isn’t always easy to do correctly, but please try to get in the habit of showing all of your children their need for Christ.
  6. We cannot do it on our own, and we’d be lying to ourselves and our children to suggest otherwise.
6. Now, up until this point, all four of these points are vital for any and all parents. We all need to be passionate about our children’s relationships with God. We all need to understand the Gospel and how it applies to life, and all of us need to be reminded how spiritually needy we are. But this last step is the one distinguishes Evangelism Parenting from Discipleship Parenting.
Speak salvation’s answers into their life.
1. Your children are going to sin. In fact, your unsaved children cannot help but sin. This doesn’t mean they’re going to be as wicked as they possible can be, but it does mean that even their righteous works are like filthy rags in God’s eyes. Now, I don’t intend to gross anyone out, but we’re all adults here, and we need to be faithful to the text. In Isaiah 64:6 we’re told that, “We have all become like one who is unclean, and all our righteous deeds are like a polluted garment.” The Hebrew word interpreted polluted in this verse, actually refers to cloth soiled by menstrual fluid. You see what I mean? If I’m unsaved, even my attempts to be good are disgusting to God.
  1. Why?
  2. Well, if I’m not a child of God, then I’m His enemy. I’m trying to live my life without Him. I’m shaking my tiny fist in His face and telling Him I can do it on my own. I’m calling Him a liar by suggesting that I don’t need Him.
  3. If I buy girl-scout cookies, or shovel my neighbors driveway, or donate to charity, or rescue an abandoned puppy; if I do any of those things in my own power for my own glory, God is disgusted by it. He’s the one we should be living for. That’s not our job. We don’t get to be the rulers of our existence or the ends of our means.
2. So, as your child attempts to meander through life according to their own will, in their own power, and for their own glory, you need to show them that only a relationship with God can answer the questions they have, provide the satisfaction and comfort they seek, and guarantee true spiritual success.

Okay, so let me try to show you what this may look like. It’s not a script, it’s just an example.

Let’s work through the steps:

I’m so passionate about my child’s relationship with God that it weighs on me throughout the day. It’s not a hopeless fear or depression, but it’s a constant reality that if my child died right now they would slip into a Christ-less eternity. Now, I’m not going to discuss the age of accountability or anything like that today, but suffice it to say, there’s nothing more important to me than my child’s submission to Christ in salvation. Of course, this should be true of everyone I meet who’s an unbeliever.
I also have a vibrant relationship with God where I’m studying His Word and daily learning more about my salvation. This enables me to do what I Peter 3:15 says by easily giving an answer for the hope that’s in me. It doesn’t matter if it’s my seventh grader or a stranger, I feel comfortable explaining the Gospel from God’s Word.
In my Bible study, I’ve also been learning how the Gospel affects multiple facets of my life. I’m no expert, but this knowledge helps me see moments in my child’s day where I can tie in a biblical principle or make an important biblical point.
So, the moment comes. My child hurls an insult toward his sibling. Here’s an example of simultaneously showing my child his need and allowing the truths of salvation to speak into his life.
1. “Hey, buddy. What you said was very unkind.” The child responds with a variation of, “Yeah, but she . . . .”, and I say, “You know, Jesus — the Creator of the universe — was beaten and cursed and murdered by His creation, but He didn’t speak a single unkind word. In fact, everything He said was in love. He stopped His disciples from attacking the guards coming to arrest Him. He even asked His Father to forgive the people crucifying Him. You see, Jesus could do that because He’s God. There is no sin in Him. But He died on the cross to replace our sin with His righteousness, so we unkind humans could have the ability to love the way He loves. I know it’s hard to speak kindly to your sister. In fact, it’s impossible without the Holy Spirit to help you, but you must speak kindly. God does not allow unloving communication.”
2. Now, at this point I could do one of two things. I could allow the illustration to stand — providing him the opportunity to draw the necessary conclusions — or I could potentially prompt my child to make a choice. This all depends on your child, the previous conversations you’ve had, the state of their heart, the situation, etc.
3. But regardless of any of those, we must be constantly spreading the Truth of God on the soil of our children’s lives.
4. “But, I never would have thought to use the example of Christ on the cross!” you say. And that’s okay, that’s why we’re talking about it. Truth.Love.Parent. is committed to providing you the answers and tools to be an Ambassador Parent — whether that means being an Evangelist Parent or a Discipling Parent.

Conclusion

Please don’t hesitate to write us at counselor@TruthLoveParent.com for specific advice for evangelizing your unsaved child.

And don’t miss the episode notes at TruthLoveParent.com linked in the description.

Before I tell you about our Father’s Day episode, I want to thank Cara for being a TLP Friend. Her support enables us to continue dealing with these vital parenting subjects. If you’d be interested in supporting TLP, please click the “Support TLP” link in the description.

Okay, so our next episode is entitled “Dad’s Are We Worth Celebrating?” Tune in next time to learn how to be a parent worth celebrating.

And will you please consider liking, following, and subscribing on our various social media pages? You can find us on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Pinterest, and YouTube.

The Bible says that God is not willing that nay should perish, but that all should come to repentance. I don’t doubt that you want your child to accept Christ as their Savior, but are you spreading the gospel seed every opportunity you get?

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