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TranscriptIntroduction
Thank you again for taking the time to hang out with me. And — if this is your first time with us — thanks for giving Truth.Love.Parent. a chance. There are so many podcast to which you could be listening. I really appreciate the opportunity to serve you by talking about how God’s Word can be applied to your parenting.
And — whether you’re new to the show or not — I invite you to hang out with me on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and LinkedIn. I’d love to interact with you there as I try to be profound or merely share how I caught yet another swarm of honeybees in my backyard. It may not always be profound, but it’s always me, and — I pray — it’s always Christ-honoring. And don’t forget to check out TakingBackTheFamily.com for today’s free episodes notes and transcript. And now we talk about something you may never have dreamed possible. How could having obedient children be a curse? Topic
Today we’re going to look at four groups of children who look like really good kids, and we’re going to discuss what’s really going on with them, how we can figure out if our kids fall into any of these groups, and how we can help our kids if they do.
But before we introduce those four groups, we need to quickly remind ourselves what the Bible says about obedience so we’re all on the same page. If this information is new to you, and you’d like to study it more, I’ll link additional resources in the description of today’s episode. The resources will provide the biblical argumentation for the truths I’m about to share. First, biblical obedience requires doing the right things. And, of course, by right, we’re talking about God’s definition of right, not ours or our kids’. Second, biblical obedience requires that we do the right things in the right ways. And — again — neither we nor our kids get to contradict God’s expectation for the way we obey. Third, we must do those right things in those right ways for the right reasons. This one is huge, and we’ll talk more about it later. And fourth, if you are doing the right thing in the right way for the right reasons, you will also be doing it in the right power — which is the Holy Spirit empowerment God promises to those who submit to Him. However, the Holy Spirit will not empower obedience that isn’t even trying to submit in the three previously mentioned areas. Now, just by looking at that list alone you can already imagine how a child may look — to everyone who knows them— her like an obedient child . . . and yet still not truly be obeying. So, let me say two more really important things before we start trying to figure out if our kids are genuinely being obedient. First, you are a human. You are finite. You are mortal. You can’t read people’s minds. Yes, I am going to suggest that you carefully observe and interpret your children’s behavior, and I’m going to share a lot of my experience with children from each of these categories, but your kids may be different. That’s why we also need to — second — approach this discussion with a lot of prayer, a genuine desire for our kids’ good, divine love, and lots of good questions and thoughtful discussions. If after listening to this episode you lay into your kids about their superficial obedience, I can promise you that you are sinning, and you’re potentially sinning more than your kids are. So, let’s be careful. And, lastly, for those of you who don’t know me, I’m a biblical family counselor. I’ve been counseling families full-time since 2007, and in that time I did so within the context of a Christian school, a boarding home for at-risk teen boys, and as part of Truth.Love.Parent. And during that time my wife and I have had over 50 different children live in our home and under our parenting for an extended period of time. I share that so you understand that I’m not merely throwing out my observations and experiences from raising my two biological kids — though they have definitely played a big part in teaching me what I hope to teach you. I’ve had the privilege of parenting many boys and girls of various ages and for various spans of time. In addition to that, I’ve been able to work with many more parents who’ve had disobedient children of their own. All of that experience gives me a unique perspective on the conversation because I can see things that happen all of the time that other people may have thought was unique to them. When you think you’re the only person who’s ever had car trouble, it’s easy to think no one can help, but when you realize that everyone and their cousin’s great-aunt has had car trouble — and often that car trouble was rectified — you start to have more hope. Allow me to use a different example. You know how when you hear about a murderer on the news, there’s always at least one person who says, “He seemed like such a nice guy. He was always so quiet and friendly”? Yeah, well when you see that enough, you stop allowing niceness, quietness, and friendliness to be your criteria for concluding that your neighbor isn’t a serial killer. And that’s some of the unique experience I have. I’ve sat with so many weeping parents whose kids are denying God and being abusive and engaging in all kinds of horrible sins. And just a year or so earlier these same parents thought their kids were so obedient and godly and loving and faithful to the Lord. How does that happen? Well, that’s the goal for today’s discussion. And with that long introduction, here we go. There are some children who seem to be very well-behaved, but . . . 1. They’re not really obedient, they’re just good pretenders. Boy, oh, boy did this describe a whole chunk of my life. Sure, I openly disobeyed, got into arguments with my parents, and the like, but — for the most part — the vast majority of the adults in my life thought I was a very good individual. This was my reality through a big part of highschool, but it was a stronger reality in college. Why? Because I was a better actor then. C’mon, my undergrad minor was actually acting, I knew what it took to give the right impression to the right people . . . all the while being a completely different person behind everyone’s backs. I’m not proud of this fact — in truth, what I’m about to say still weighs heavily on my heart — but I probably should have been kicked out of my Christian university multiple times over. I’ve sinned against more people than I care to admit and my heart breaks because of it. And yet, I was the good kid. And here’s the thing, I’ve work with so many parents whose kids were good pretenders. Now, this episode cannot be as in-depth as I’d like it to be, so let me say now that we’re going to have to move quickly though each of these categories. So, if you’d like to know more about determining if your child fits into any of these descriptions, don’t hesitate to contact us at [email protected]. It may also help for you to listen to The Four Children series. Those episodes will give you a bunch more information about understanding how your kids really respond to truth. But if your kids are pretenders, how are you going to know they’re pretending? For starters, A. We all need to pay better attention. It amazes me the stuff kids get away with right in front of their parents. Sometimes this is a result of the parents not paying a lick of attention, and sometimes it’s due to the fact that the parent doesn’t see anything wrong with their behavior. But — man — I’ve seen some crazy stuff. But let me give you a personal example of my own debauchery. I used to take two or three CD jewel cases (with very inappropriate music) and stick them in the front of my pants. I’d walk around the house, give my parents full-on frontal hugs goodbye — when asked what I’d be doing while I was gone, I’d say with a jocular smile, “I’m going to go listen to a bunch of music you hate,” we’d all laugh, then I’d leave and totally rock out as I drove down the road. And they were never the wiser. Now, I’m not throwing my parents under the bus; they will easily admit they missed a lot back then (and they also found a lot too), but my point is, we need to pay more attention. This makes me think about Eli. His sons were both priests, but they were known to the people of Israel as being “worthless men.” They lied and cheated and committed adultery with the women who served at the doorway of the tent of meeting. But apparently Eli wasn’t paying enough attention, because he didn’t know about it until he was told by the people in I Samuel 2:22. Dad, mom, don’t take your child’s obedience for granted. Inspect what you expect. Pay attention. Also, if we think we may have pretenders, B. We need to start asking better questions. Like I said, stop taking things for granted. What is my child doing? How are they doing it? What’s their motivation? Pretenders are liars, and liars always let something slip or can’t keep their lies straight. If we’re paying attention and asking good questions, eventually something will come out. We have the Lord’s promise that our sin will find us out, but I’ve actually watched children slip up in their lies and betray the truth, but their parents weren’t really focusing on what was going on and the kid almost got away with the lie. I say “almost” because I was there to point it out to the parents. Even God asked questions. Sure, He knew the answers, but He asked them because the individual answering always reveals his own heart to himself as he answers. God asked Cain questions after Cain presented the wrong offering. Jesus asked the woman at the well questions. Quality questions are a powerful parenting tool. And C. We need to hold our kids to high biblical standards. This point is specifically for the parents who tolerate disobedience in their children or whose standards are unbiblically low. It’s much easier for a child with those parents to pretend to obey than it would be if the parent had the same expectations for their child as God does. Holding kids to higher biblical standards may also take the form of increased accountability. For example, I should not have been allowed to go wherever I wanted to go all by myself. And some of your kids shouldn’t either. Many of your kids shouldn’t have access to technology and definitely not in their bedrooms. And it’s not just about the tech they have, it’s more about how and why it’s use it. You can learn a ton more about keeping high biblical expectations in your home in our 5th Way to Parent series. I hope you check that out. Now, this next category of “obedient child” is similar, but unique. 2. They do the right things, but they they don’t do them the right way. The pretenders fake obedience. That’s what generally makes them easier to discover. They’re not completely genuine. However, the partial obeyers are often very genuine about doing the rights things. The problem is that they’re not doing the right things the right ways. Most young children fit into this category at some point in their lives. They’re told to clean up their rooms, but they don’t do it in a timely manner, they do it with a bad attitude, or they don’t follow all the rules you’ve given them about white-gloving their bedroom. And it’s often the same parents who don’t pay attention or who don’t ask good questions or who don’t have high biblical expectations for their kids that allow partial obedience from their children. Now, as you can probably tell, it’s very easy for these parents to cruise through life thinking their kids are sweet, wonderful, normal kids. Parents ask their kids to clean the dishes, and though the dishes get cleaned, the child didn’t obey in how they did it. The parents just want their kids to stop yelling at each other, so as long as the kids are quiet, mom and dad don’t really care that they’re still harboring bitterness and hatred in their hearts. So, what happens? Well, for whatever reason, eventually the child’s true self is revealed. It either comes out that they’ve been pretending the whole time or their continually superficial obedience wears thin, and then I have moms and dads coming to me acting like their kids practically changed over night. That’s never actually what happened, but it’s how it seemed to the parents because they thought their kids were more obedient than they were. In these situations, there’s change that needs to happen on both sides. In the same way the children need to confess and repent of their lies or partial obedience (which is full disobedience), the parents also need to take responsibility for not being careful, watchful, and loving enough to keep their kids genuinely accountable. All of us parents need to rededicate to Deuteronomy 6, Psalm 78, and Ephesians 6 parenting. I love how Psalm 78 puts it. Allow me to paraphrase part of the chapter: “Listen, O my people, to my instruction; I will open my mouth in a parable. We will not conceal them from their children, But tell to the generation to come the praises of the Lord, And His strength and His wondrous works that He has done. For He established a testimony And appointed a law, Which He commanded our fathers That they should teach them to their children, That the generation to come might know, even the children yet to be born, That they may arise and tell them to their children, That they should put their confidence in God And not forget the works of God, But keep His commandments.” But, these two categories of apparently obedient kids — the pretender and the partial obeyer — are not the scariest. Most parents who pay attention, ask good questions, and maintain high biblical standards in their homes, usually discover the deception or partial obedience before it goes too far. However, the next two categories are much scarier because they’re more difficult to root out. 3. They do the right things in the right ways, but they’re not born again. Now, no one listening to the sound of my voice can know 100% for certain if their children are born again. But we can — and should — be observing their fruit and keeping them accountable to the Scriptures. I’m constantly amazed when I meet people who are open and honest about that fact that they’re unbelievers who live far more polite and kind and moral lives than some professing believers. So you know what that tells me? That tells me that doing the right thing in the right way doesn’t require the person to be born again. You can be unsaved and still “do right.” And there are many, many children out there who do the right things in the right way, and who may have even made a profession of faith, but they don’t truly have a saving relationship with God. So, what’s a parent to do? First, don’t assume you know your kids are saved and try to convince them of it at every turn. I’ve known way to many parents who did this whose kids later turned out to be hardcore atheists. They should have been leading the children to God, but — instead — they tried to convince their child that they had a relationship with God they never had. Second, participate in Evangelism Parenting. We have many resources on this topic. You can click the link in the description or search “Evangelism Parenting” at TruthLoveParent.com. However, to sum it up, Evangelism Parenting is bringing the Gospel to bear on each of our parenting opportunities. Of course, that doesn’t mean we quote the Roman’s Road or talk about salvation every time we parent. What it does mean is that we understand the impact the Gospel should have on every decision we make, and we help our children to see it as well, In the event a child is not born again, it won’t take long for them to either finally admit that they don’t believe what you’re teaching them, or they’ll continue in their behavior unchanged and — over time — reveal they don’t have the Holy Spirit conforming them to the image of God. And third, make sure your kids actually understand what it means to have a relationship with God. Too many of us sell our kids a bill of goods when it comes to being born again. We misrepresent it, and it ends up basically coming across like they can live however they want and still get to heaven. We must do our best to clearly represent the truth concerning how one is born again and how that new life affects them. Fourth, pray for you children. Both of my kids have made a profession of faith, but I still regularly pray that God would draw my kids to Him and that they would see how badly they need Him. And fifth, when it starts to become more biblically obvious that your kids aren’t born again, make a habit of calling them to repentance. Lord willing, God will use you in your kids’ lives to show them their need of a Savior and King as my mom was used in my life to help me see that I wasn’t truly a follower of Christ. Okay, so the first category of apparently obedient kids was the pretenders. The second category was the partial-obedience kids. Most parents who look at those kids and think they’re obedient generally aren’t paying enough attention or aren’t using God’s criteria. Usually when dad and mom start putting on their Bible-glasses and really looking at their kids, the issues become quite obvious. The third category is harder, though, because the child does the right things in the right ways, but they’re not born again. Parents needs to approach this child with an evangelistical mindset and trust God that His Word won’t return void. But the final category is the most difficult group. This category involves born again kids who regularly do the right things in the right ways. Now, you may be wondering how that could possibly be bad. Well, remember that true, Christ-honoring obedience is doing the right thing in the right way for the right reasons. And there are generally four subgroups in this category, because there are generally four really bad reasons for obeying. So . . . 4. They do the right things in the right ways, but they do them for the wrong reasons. Now, what bad reasons could a person have for keeping the rules? Well, in no particular order . . . A. They obey out of ignorance. If my obedience is nothing more than blind actions done for the sake of doing them, my obedience is incomplete. But what kind of knowledge is necessary to biblically obey? Do I need to explain to my child all the ins and outs and — until they completely understand why I’m telling them to do what I’m telling them to do — they don’t have to obey? Of course not. “But Aaron, isn’t obeying out of blind faith good?” Sure, you could say that, but doing right because I have faith in God is not ignorance. I know God, I know what He expects, and I know that I must trust Him even if I don’t like or understand what He wants me to do. Proverbs 19:2 says, “It is not good for a person to be without knowledge, And he who hurries his footsteps errs.” Romans 10:3 observes, “For not knowing about God’s righteousness and seeking to establish their own, they did not subject themselves to the righteousness of God.” Ignorant obedience isn’t obedience because it’s ignoring the fact that God requires obedience motivated by faith in Him. That obedience isn’t ignorant because it’s focusing on the most important aspect of obedience. One of the best ways to determine if your child obeys out of ignorance is to ask probing questions. If you ask, “You did a good job cleaning your room, but I’m curious, why did you do such a good job?” and the best answer they have is “I don’t know,” or “Because you told me to,” it’s very possible they don’t really know why they did what they did. Ignorance of their motivation is inherently dangerous because none of us accidentally glorifies God. That means that the ignorance of their motivation is actually a fruit of one of the other categories we’re about to describe. So, how do we parent a child who obeys ignorantly? Well, we need to teach them how to obey with the right motivation. And there is only one Christ-honoring motivation for everything we believe, think, desire, feel, say, and do. And I’ll outline that when we’re done discussing the other three sub-categories of children who obey for the wrong reasons. B. They obey simply to please you. Some children like their parents so much that they just really, really want to please them. Now, I know, this doesn’t sound all that bad, but we must remember that there are only two choices on the shelf — worshipping God or worshipping self. We’ve done many episodes on how our kids worship — you should check those out — but — suffice it to say — I’m either going to obey for the one reason God wants me to obey, or I’m going to obey for the milieu of reasons I choose to obey. And it’s that whole “reasons I choose to obey” that makes my obedience an act of idolatry. We parents actually encourage this in our kids when we demand the impossible obedience of doing what I say for my reasons. When we make ourselves the reason our kids do right, we’re teaching our kids how to commit idolatry. Even if they do the right thing in the right way for my reasons . . . they’re not actually obeying God. Now, some kids — often very young kids — naturally obey for these reasons. Their immaturity results in their seeking their own satisfaction in the ways that they prescribe, and they just so happen to like making mommy and daddy happy. By the way, if you had a kid who thought the world of you and obeyed all the time, and they grow up into a kid who no longer thinks the world of you, and they no longer obey, then you can bet on the fact that your child’s obedience in their younger years was not motivated by a Christ-honoring purpose, but was simply them fulfilling their own desires by pleasing you. But now that they no longer desire to please you, they satisfy themselves in their disobedience. Either way, it’s about their own self-satisfaction. And — again — the single best way to discover if your child obeys simply because they want to make you happy is to ask. Listen to what they say when they reveal their deeper purposes. Proverbs 20:5 tells us, “A plan in the heart of a man is like deep water, But a man of understanding draws it out.” Be that man or woman of understanding. So, how do we parent such a child? I’ll answer that after we talk about this next kid who has a lot in common with the one who obeys to please you. C. They obey out of fear. This is the child who does right simply because they don’t want to get into trouble. Now, this may be the opposite side of the coin from the kid we just described. Whereas the one — in their pursuit of satisfaction — finds joy in pleasing mom and dad . . . this child — in their pursuit of satisfaction — finds joy in not getting in trouble. Either way, though, it’s motivated by their own pleasure and desires. It’s idolatry. However, like I mentioned before, we parents often encourage our children’s idolatry. Overly harsh parents, angry parents, abusive parents, and manipulative parents all push their kids toward idolatry. We threaten and punish and convince our kids that they better obey “or else.” Now, I’ve mentioned on nearly every other child that the best way to discover why your kid does what he does is to talk with him, ask him good questions, and draw out his heart. Unfortunately, this category is much more difficult. Let’s be honest. As uncomfortable as it may be, your kid may be frightened of you. And — by the way — if that’s what you want, you don’t understand God, yourself, or biblical obedience at all. You have serious problems, and I would highly recommend you meet regularly with a biblical counselor in order to root out the wickedness in your heart. I say with Peter in Acts 8:22, “Repent of this wickedness of yours, and pray the Lord that, if possible, the intention of your heart may be forgiven you.” But here’s the thing — your child may be obeying simply to avoid consequences. That means that they’re probably afraid to admit to you that they’re afraid of you. Of course — in Christ — there is hope for this kind of situation, but this one is deep and needs to be addressed biblically and carefully, but we don’t have the time to unpack it here. Therefore, I recommend you reach out to us at [email protected] and set up a time to talk. But how might we start addressing this problem? Well, for now, let’s remove the element of their being afraid of you. Obviously, you need to confess and repent of how you’ve been motivating your kids. And we need to stop trying to manipulate them with fear — if that’s what we’ve been doing. But even if they are just afraid of legitimate consequences, you can help them the same way you parent the kids who are ignorant and the kids who obey just to please you. The issue is that they are serving self and likely don’t know why God wants them to obey. So, we need to teach our kids how to biblically obey. I know, it’s crazy. But from the earliest ages we need to motivate our kids’ obedience by actually telling them why they should do what they do. And — guess what! — their obedience has nothing to do with the fact that you’ve told them a hundred times, or that they’re getting on your last nerve, or that they’re going to make you look bad, or that no one will want to play with them if they act that way, or any of the other pragmatic, selfish, and sinful motivations we place in front of our kids. But — I’m getting ahead of myself — I’ll get to the right motivation momentarily. Okay, so some kids pretend to obey, some kids only obey partially, and some kids do right on the outside without a relationship with God on the inside. But there are also a lot of kids who follow the rules out of ignorance. Then there are others who do what they’re told because they want to please you. But others still are petrified of what may happen if they disobey. And then there’s this last category . . . D. They obey because they like to obey. Now, again, I’m sure that — at first glance — this sounds great. “My child actually likes obeying!” But I’m also sure you can recognize the problem here. This child is no different than the kid who simply wants to please you or the kid who wants to avoid consequences. This child is doing what he or she wants to do with no thought to what God wants them to do. They just so happen to like following the rules, they do it really well, and it makes them feel good. But that’s nothing more than pharisaism. And — to complicate matters more — when they’re born again, it’s these kids who can be the hardest to spot. Being genuine Christians, they’re filled with the Spirit, and that means that — no doubt — some of their obedience is truly motivated by the right reasons, but that doesn’t mean we should assume all of their obedience is. You see, in college I was born again. It’s true that I pretended a lot, but — being a child of God — I frequently experienced genuine shame and conviction over my sin, and there were plenty of times I was motivated to obey because I love God and it was right. But there were also many other times I did right simply because I liked doing what was right. For example, I never drank alcohol or did drugs in college. And though I’d like to think that some of my motivation was that I wanted to please the Lord, I can honestly say that I knew enough alcoholics and drug addicts to know I didn’t want to be anything like them. I had no desire to mess around with substance abuse. And though that may sound wise and noble, I can promise you that one of my big motivations was that I thought addicts were stupid and pathetic, and I thought I was better than them. And that is 100% the wrong motivation for behavior. Now, I appreciate your patience with this longer than usual episode, so allow me recap and then wrap up by describing the only motivation for our obedience that glorifies God. First, some parents think their kids are obedient when they’re only pretenders. Others believe their kids are obedient when they only do the bare minimum. However, high biblical expectations coupled with close attention and heart-revealing questions is often all it takes to unveil this faux-obedience. Still others are content with their children’s obedience even though their child doesn’t know God and is heading toward a Christless eternity. But what does it profit a man if he keeps earthly rules if he loses his own soul? If you’re a parent of these kinds of kids — and, if we’re being honest, all parents start off with kids in this category — those parents need to make the Gospel their highest parenting goal. We need to make sure our kids understand what it is, we need to weave it into our practical parenting, and we need to call our kids to repentance. But it’s this last category that throws some of us for a loop. Our kids have clearly shown that they’re bearing fruit of genuine repentance, and they frequently do the right things in the right ways. But the problem lies in the fact that our kids are obeying out of ignorance, as men pleasers, out of fear of consequences, or simply because they get satisfaction from doing right. So, just like the other children we discussed, parents should be diligent to draw out the intentions of their kid’s hearts. We need to help our kids understand why they do what they do. They won’t naturally figure it out on their own, but it’s too dangerous to leave uncovered. Therefore, we need to pay close attention, hold them to high biblical expectations, and we need to engage in quality, thought-provoking conversations where we engage with the heart-level purposes. And — when we find that our kids are doing the right things in the right ways for the wrong reasons (and therefore displeasing the Lord) — we need to teach them what true obedience is. And this is where we turn to Romans 14:23b, “whatever is not from faith is sin.” Now, we’ve gone very long today, so we don’t have time to unpack this very important concept, so allow me to point you to some very helpful resources and then summarize the concept for us. In addition to the “Teach Your Kids to Obey” series, I highly, highly recommend you listen to “The Merest Christianity” series. I believe this is the most seminal truth all Christians must understand. There is no Biblical concept more important than understanding the nature of faith in a Christian’s life. And I can say — as a biblical counselor — that most believer’s understanding of faith is informed more by the world than it is by the Scriptures. But if I had to sum this concept up, if I had to explain this to a child, this is how I might approach it. Would you like your best friend to buy you a present? Of course the child will answer, “Yes!” But what if your best friend bought you the present simply because they wanted you to buy them a present too? What if they bought you the present because they wanted to get something from you? What if they bought you the present — not because they like you — but simply because it makes them feel good? Any thinking child will realize the quality of that relationship is very poor indeed. And — even though they’d be getting a present out of it — they wouldn’t look favorably on the relationship. So, then I may ask, “Do you think God wants us obeying Him because we’re trying to get something from Him? Do you think He’s pleased knowing that we obeyed simply because it makes us feel good? Does it glorify God when we do right because we were afraid of getting in trouble? And I may ask all of you who are married, “Do you really want your spouse treating you well solely for selfish reasons? Of course not! Every human being on this planet wants people to be kind to them, but they also — deep down inside — understand that true kindness isn’t self-focused, it’s other’s focused. So, how does obedience glorify God by being other’s focused? Didn’t I just say that obeying simply to please mom and dad wasn’t pleading to the Lord? Well, when it comes to God, He’s the only other than matters. We must love Him more than we love anyone else. We must obey our parents because we’re obeying God. He must have the preeminence in our lives. We should teach our kids that the grandest motivation for our obedience is that we want to make God happy. We want to please Him. We want to glorify Him. We want to worship Him. That’s it. That’s why your son should take out the garbage in a timely manner and with a good attitude . . . because He loves His Lord. That’s why your daughter should desire to stay pure before marriage . . . because her God is just that important to her. That’s why your elementary schooler should strive to pay attention in class . . . because he or she knows that God loves it when we obey Him. That’s the only motivation that matters. I Corinthians 10:31 tells us that “Whether, then, you eat or drink or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.” Our kids need to believe that their obedience needs to be motivated by God’s glory. They need to trust that God knows what’s best. They need to have faith that their highest purpose in life is to please God because whatever is not from faith is sin. Conclusion
I recognize that there’s so much more that could be said, and I probably should have split this episode into two parts, but TeamTLP and I have tried very hard to make sure there are plenty of other resources if you would like to study the Scriptures deeper in order to get a better understanding of the topics we’ve discussed today.
Please check out TruthLoveParent.com and the description of this episode for links to those resources. And never hesitate to reach out to us at [email protected] or call (828) 423-0894 if you would like some specialized help in drawing out the purposes of your children’s hearts. And I hope you’ll join us next time as we once again open God’s Word to discover how to parent our children for life and godliness. To that end — and depending on how our schedules work out — we’ll be continuing this conversation a little more by either talking with Jerrad Lopes about his book entitled “Stop Behaving,” or we’ll talk about the curse of obedient children and connect with Jerrad later. Either way, regardless of the order, I hope to continue investigating the ins and outs of parenting our kids to Christ-honoring obedience.
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