How will parents rear their children in the new decade? Join AMBrewster as he helps Christian parents understand the cultural slide was well as respond biblically to the struggles their families will encounter in the new year.
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“CANADA: End of gender reveal parties and more family activism among 2020 parenting trends”
Listen to the following episodes on Apple Podcasts by clicking the titles.
“Parenting Trends 2018” (episode 124)
“Parenting Trends 2019, Part 1” (episode 235)
“Parenting Trends 2019, Part 2” (episode 236)
“Creating Community” (episode 198)
“What’s a Family Anyway?” (episode 78)
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In 2018 we started highlighting new year parenting trends. Last year we took two episodes to discuss the opinions, and today we’re continuing the tradition by starting a two-part discussion about some significant ideological parenting shifts coming your way in 2020.
Lord willing, I believe it will be interesting one day to look back and be able to see the swing. I think this grand perspective can be very helpful for Christian Parents who don’t want to simply follow pop-culture fads, but who want to ground themselves in Scripture.
One of the biggest reasons we study history is so that we don’t make the same poor choices previous generations made.
So, today we’re going to look back at a few of the trends from 2018 and 2019 just to see how they’ve paved the way for what’s happening in 2020. Even in just a few short years, the trajectory will be unmistakeable.
But, before we do that, I want to invite you to consider how you may be a fundamental part to a Truth.Love.Parenting.Conference. in your home town.
Whether it’s as simple as a TLP Meetup where I hang out with you and your closest friends to talk parenting, or it’s as big as a city-wide parenting conference, you can play a huge role.
If you’re a pastor or leader in any way, you can obviously contact us to discuss a parenting workshop or couples weekend or family conference.
If you’re a camp director, I would be honored to speak at a family camp, Parent/Child weekend, or even your regular teen and junior camps. They’re just as integral a part of the family as their parents.
If you’re the administrator of a Christian school, I would love to equip your faculty and staff with the same biblical Truth God calls parents to use.
But if you’re not someone in an organizational leadership position, you’re still vitally important.
Matt and Sonja have been instrumental in introducing TLP to the Dallas area. They talked with their friends, the head of their children’s school, their pastors, and the local homeschool group, and they invited me down.
I had the opportunity to interact with all of those groups because Matt and Sonja paved the way and made the introductions.
You can do the exact same thing.
If you’d be interested in at least learning what it would take to host or sponsor a TLP event, please go to TruthLoveParent.com and click on the Conference tab.
Now, as we get into the meat of the show, don’t forget that we have free episode notes and transcripts available for you on our blog, Taking Back the Family. They are amazing resources for helping us further understand and implement the information we discuss.
Alright, let’s see what the “experts” are saying about parenting in the new decade.
First, let’s remind ourselves of some key observations from the past two years.
In 2018 one of my main points was this: “2017 was very focused on the human body, specifically within the context of sexuality and gender, and there’s no reason to think that focus is going to die away any time soon.”
In 2019 we discussed “Family Redefinition” and “Gender Confusion.” I mentioned, “The word ‘gender’ has been redefined to refer both to sex and also to an emotional or cognitive state of behaving within the stereotypical cultural constructs for a sex.”
So, with an introduction like that, it shouldn’t surprise any of us the direction that 2020 is going.
Now, today’s Parenting Trends episode is going to be different from previous iterations because I’m not going to spend any time talking about the frivolous stuff. It doesn’t really matter right now that kid’s subscription boxes, eco-friendly baby products, new food introduction, inspirational names, and homeschooling are growing in popularity.
All of that is great, but I want to take these episodes to discuss the growing philosophical landscape of modern American parenting.
Future generations will not be molded by the fact that people are going to name their kid Dream or Promise. In fact, baby names and fashion trends will likely become the brunt of future jokes just like they do every 30 years or so.
What will affect the future of parenting in the West is the current trajectory of God-rejecting beliefs. So, let’s jump in.
In preparation for this episode, I did what I always do. I took to the internet.
This year’s simple “parenting trends 2020” Google search introduced me to an article posted on New Market Today, a Canadian news source.
I want to address this one article alone . . . not because it encompasses all beliefs of all people, but because it was the one Google promoted to the top of its list. That means it as least has traction.
The article lists four extremely important predictions with which we need to grapple. I’m going to link the article in the description of this episode, but you don’t really have to read it. I’m going to quote it extensively, and their conclusions aren’t worth emulating anyway.
So, here we go:
1. “Less Judgement, More Support”
The article says, “For a long time, Google was the number one stop for nervous parents when they noticed a new rash or peculiar bump on their little ones.
“But, as parenting expert and founder of Black Moms Connection Tanya Hayles remembers vividly, that process can be overwhelming and scary.
“For new moms, ‘every sound and every breath can send you into this spiral,’ Hayles told Global News. ‘It’s way easier to hear from other moms.’
“That’s why she predicts online crowd-sourcing communities as being even more popular in 2020 and beyond — especially groups that are based on location, religion or culture.
“'No one supports other parents more than other parents,’ she said.
"These can be especially amazing for parents who don’t have much support from their in-person communities.
"Samantha Kemp-Jackson, parenting expert and host of the Parenting Then and Now podcast, isn’t as convinced about the use of digital technology — but she agrees that those in the parenting community will be much more supportive of each other in 2020.
‘With digital and electronic entertainment and communications a pervasive force in our society, [I think] parents are tired. They’ve reached their respective thresholds regarding apps, texts and notifications,’ she said.
“She predicts a ‘return to basics,’ with parents turning to physical bookstores and libraries, encouraging their children to read books, not screens.
“With that said, Kemp-Jackson foresees a more ‘laissez-faire attitude towards parenting one’s own children, along with perceptions of others.’
“No more debating about breast or formula, attachment parenting, co-sleeping or other contentious issues that divide parents,” she said. ‘We’re all dealing with something.
“‘We’re finally seeing that it’s in all of our best interests to support each other’s choices.’”
Okay, so the two ideas posited here are that people will either continue to yearn for greater parenting community whether online or in-person, or they’ll adopt a live and let live mentality.
Let me park on this one for a second. The obvious biblical answer is that we desperately need to be speaking into each other’s lives. Episode 198 was released shortly after I returned from Dallas. It’s called “Creating Community” and deals with the significance of community as well as teaching us how to do it.
We won’t take the time to look at all the passages, but the reality is that God created us to thrive in community. We need counsel. We need truth in love. We need admonishment and rebuke. We need one-anothering.
So, what do we do with this parenting trend?
Let me encourage you that face-to-face, life-on-life versions of community are the absolute best. Your local body of believers needs to be discipling and mentoring each other in this way.
TLP desperately wants to raise up a generation of Christian Parents who understand the importance of worshipping God . . . together.
“But, who do I trust to open up my life and parenting to?” you may ask. That is the question of the decade.
It used to be a pregnant mommy had her mother and sisters and grandmother and aunts around to help her and teach her. Today we don’t have that, and it’s very sad. That makes the local body of believers that much more important.
Here’s the key, it needs to be someone humble enough to submit to God’s plan and pursue it. It may be a great start to find other parents in your church who listen to this podcast. At least then you know you’re all on the same page.
This one point isn’t the main focus of this episode, but I just want to encourage you that you really do need others speaking Truth into your life, and the best place to get that is is from a mature believer in your church.
However, I’m not naive enough to believe that there are mature believers in every self-proclaimed church. This is why the TLP Counselors offer video counseling. Sometimes you just can’t find a trustworthy individual in your community.
Well, TeamTLP and I are also very excited about this move toward online communities.
It started as chatrooms that grew into social media like Facebook groups, but with big tech’s tendency to want to control how you experience your groups and online relationships, that’s becoming less and less valuable. Algorithms and programming are stripping our online communities of authenticity and connection.
Well, there’s this recent shift toward online communities that don’t have corporate overlords. TeamTLP and I are discussing how we can create a TLP parenting community where you actually have access to all of the free resources and unfiltered content and like-minded Christian parents without having to click through to the website every day.
I’m really excited about our ideas and direction, and I hope this year we’ll be able to unfold it to you. Of course, you can always join the TLP Family and become part of our closed Facebook group. Make sure you click everything you need to click to give you better chances of receiving all of the notifications, and then get involved so that the experience is better for you and everyone else.
Okay, moving on.
The second point brought up by Global News was . . .
2. “The End of Gender-Focused Parenting”
Now, that’s a bold statement. But it shouldn’t be a surprise under the circumstances. Please allow me to read another excerpt from the article.
According to Kemp-Jackson, “‘The 2020s will see parents focusing less on pink, blue or supposedly unisex colours, instead, doing what was once the most important thing for them to teach: how to be a good person, regardless of gender,’ she said.
“Hayles also sees a shift happening towards less ‘traditional' family structures, with more babies being born to same-sex couples and single individuals.
““The definition of family is going to continue to shift,’ she said. ‘[For a long time], people had the idea that the family you were born into is the only family you’re going to have forever. Now, we’re seeing a lot of people letting go of their toxic family and shedding those ties.’
“She sees more parents rejecting harmful relationships, even if they are technically with biological family.”
We have an episode entitled “What’s a Family Anyway?” that should help clear up any misconceptions because it approaches the subject from a biblical standpoint. I’ll share that in the description.
But this gender-issue is getting out of hand.
Listen, last year I threatened to do an episode called “The Gender Discussion Everyone is Going to Hate,” and I think the time has come to start that conversation.
Here’s the point, it does not please the Lord to separate your child’s gender ideology from their biological sex. So, on one side we need to prepare our kids for the cultural onslaught concerning gender. They need to be comfortable in their bodies and have a clear, biblical understanding of what it means to be a boy or a girl, a man or a woman.
At the same time, one of the reasons I believe we’ve come to this place as a society is that Christians have absolutely no idea what it means to be a man or a woman. Historically, they have jam-packed so many false stereotypes into the discussion that the world is seeing it for what it is . . . man-made garbage.
Couple that with the fact that the world itself has propagated wrong ideas concerning sex stereotypes since the beginning of time and you create an atmosphere where thinking people are going to scramble to find some sanity. They didn’t find it in the world. They didn’t find it in the church . . . so they’re left to figure it out on their own . . . and that never goes well.
Instead of allowing God to define the sexes He created, mankind has come to the conclusion that you should just be whatever you feel like being. It’s the most basic, default position of any individual and society: if it feels good, do it. Do whatever is right in your own eyes.
That’s why the world cannot be trusted to come to Christ-honoring conclusions on the topic of sex, gender, and identity. That is — unless they’re going to submit to the most basic, scientific realties of what it means to be a biological man or woman.
Other than that, there’s little hope they’ll land on Truth.
What do we do with this information?
First, you need teach your child what it means to be a Christ-honoring male or female. TeamTLP and I hope to offer help in that area as we work on “The Gender Discussion Everyone is Going to Hate” and the subsequent biblical study about what it really means to be a boy or a girl.
Second, you need to prepare your kids to respond in Christ-honoring ways when it comes to the philosophies they hear. They need to know how to answer the criticisms and respond to the questions. If not for the sake of others, at least for their own sake.
That’s just two of the four predictions made in the article. The next two are equally meaty and just as important for us.
So, please share this episode on your favorite social media outlets so others have the benefit of joining the discussion.
Join the TLP Family at TruthLoveParent.com so you can join our closed Facebook group.
And remember, if we want our children to grow up into Christ, we must parent in truth and love.
To that end, join us next time as we look at two more predictions concerning parenting in the new decade.
I’ll see you then.
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