![]() How on earth does God expect us to be able to parent holy the way He would? Join AMBrewster as he unveils from Ephesians 4 The Source of our personal change. Check out 5 Ways to Support TLP. Listen to the following episodes on Apple Podcasts by clicking the titles. “Your Family Needs to Go to Church” series (starts in episode 175) Click here for our free Parenting Course! Like us on Facebook. Follow us on Twitter. Follow AMBrewster on Twitter. Follow us on Pinterest. Subscribe on YouTube. Need some help? Write to us at [email protected]. Click "Read More" for today’s Episode Notes and Transcript. Episode NotesTo download this document, please right-click and select "Save Image As." TranscriptIntroductionWelcome back to the “Change Starts with Me” series. Please, if you are just joining us, stop this episode and check out our last one so you have all the necessary context. But, if you’re returning for part two, I welcome you and would like to lead us in thanks today as we praise God for allowing us to grow more and more this summer, and for using people like Dave, Caryn, and Taylor to do it. Taylor, Caryn, and Dave have given faithfully this year to make these episodes possible. People like them allow us to continue producing this absolutely free parenting content. Imagine that, people just like you sharing their resources so people just like you can have access to biblical teaching concerning family and parenting. God is so good how He uses His people to build up His people. In fact, we looked at that last time from Ephesians 4: “we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ, 16 from whom the whole body, joined and held together by every joint with which it is equipped, when each part is working properly, makes the body grow so that it builds itself up in love.” Thank you Caryn and Dave and Taylor for your part in building us all up in love. If you’d like to play a part in that process, there are a number of ways. You can subscribe to Truth.Love.Parent. and share this show with your friends. You can also pray for us. You can Rate, Review, and Recommend the show on iTunes and Facebook. And you can become a Patron. Just click on the “5 Ways to Support TLP" link in the description of this episode to learn more about how you can get involved. Okay, so today we’re discussing The Source of personal change as we study Ephesians 4 and learn about how family change starts with me. As always, our free episode notes and transcript will be available at Taking Back the Family. TopicLast time we did a flyover of the book of Ephesians and saw that personal change is the hinge on which the door of Christ-honoring relationships hangs off the doorpost of divine Truth. And we discussed The Goal of personal change and learned that the call to pursue the goal is urgent, the consummation of the goal is Christlikeness, and the consequence of the goal is helping others with the goal. Therefore, we saw that the goal is for us to urgently be maturing in our Christlikeness and assisting our family members to do the same. But how on earth are we to accomplish that? Seriously, how can we — flawed human beings who were likely never taught to parent and who only had flawed examples — how are we to rear these little pagans to grow up into Christ? Well, Ephesians four gives us the answer. So, let’s get started. 1. The Source of our ability to change comes from the Lord. Let’s look specifically at verses 1, 4-6, and 24. Verse one starts with Paul introducing himself as a “prisoner for the Lord.” It’s based on this title that he can urge us to walk in a manner worthy of our calling. Then in verse 6 he explains the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace by repeating with a drum-like cadence a list of “ones:” “There is one body and one Spirit, 5 one Lord, one faith, one baptism, 6 one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all.” This is the source of our ability to change. The one body of believers, all united in one faith, attesting that faith in one baptism, find their source in the one Spirit, Lord, God, and Father of all who is over all and through all and in all. I love Paul’s ability to make his points so dramatically and clearly. If we are in His body, then God the Father, Son, and Holy Ghost, are over us and through us and in us. He’s the root that should permeate our deepest soil, the leaven that gives fullness to our entire loaf of bread, the light that casts the shadows from the darkest parts of our lives. There is no hope for change outside of the one Lord Who purchased our salvation. There is no hope for change outside of the one Father Who forgives our sins because of the imputed blood of Christ’s substitutionary atonement. There is no hope for change outside of the one Spirit Who teaches us all things and empowers us to wisely live out what we’ve learned and understood. So, there are two very important considerations. 1. Are you justified? Is Jesus your Savior and Lord? Has the Father applied Christ’s sacrifice to your sin debt? This is a positional reality that happens in a moment when you put your faith and trust in the sacrificial work of Christ on the cross. But the second part is just as important, and tends to be neglected far too often. 2. Are you being sanctified? Is the Holy Spirit alive in you, illuminating the Truth of Scripture, helping you apply it to your life, and empowering you to live in conformity to Christ? This is a progressive reality that should be taking place every day as you grow more and more in personal holiness. Yes, on one side we are declared righteous by the work of Christ, but on the other God wants to work through us to accomplish that righteousness in our lives. Without a secure, growing foundation on God, there is no hope for personal change. I pray that you are certain of your standing before God, in Christ, and under the Spirit because . . . 2. The Source of our ability to change is God’s grace. Ephesians 4:7-13 reads, “7 But grace was given to each one of us according to the measure of Christ's gift. 8 Therefore it says, “When he ascended on high he led a host of captives, and he gave gifts to men.” 9 (In saying, “He ascended,” what does it mean but that he had also descended into the lower regions, the earth? 10 He who descended is the one who also ascended far above all the heavens, that he might fill all things.) 11 And he gave the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, the shepherds and teachers, 12 to equip the saints for the work of ministry, for building up the body of Christ, 13 until we all attain to the unity of the faith and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to mature manhood, to the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ.” There is so much going on in this passage, but I want to focus on four truths. A. In verses 9 and 10 we are reminded of the grace of God in Christ’s presence. “(In saying, “He ascended,” what does it mean but that he had also descended into the lower regions, the earth? 10 He who descended is the one who also ascended far above all the heavens, that he might fill all things.)” If Jesus Christ left Heaven to live and die and rise again to do for man what he could never do for himself, then what makes us think that Jesus is not present with His people now? Sure, He’s not here physically, but Galatians 2:20 reads, “It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.” Our loving Savior is still with us, the Holy Spirit attesting to Him, even while He advocates for us before the Father. It is the grace of God that provides the grace we need to meet everything we’re going to encounter today and new grace for tomorrow. Lamentations 3:22-23 reads, “The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.” And why did He descend from Heaven in the first place? B. Verse 7 speaks of the grace of God in salvation. “But grace was given to each one of us according to the measure of Christ's gift.” We just talked a lot about this, and so much more could be said, but let’s move on to . . . C. Verse 8 talks about God’s grace in spiritual gifts. “Therefore it says, “When he ascended on high he led a host of captives, and he gave gifts to men.” This passage doesn’t specifically speak to the nature of those gifts, but there are so many listed out in Scripture. There’s the gift of His grace and faith and salvation and the spiritual gifts about which evangelists love to speak, but then also the gift of spiritual leaders and many more. God’s grace is amazing in that it not only empowers us to meet the parenting struggles of the day, but actually equips us with unique gifts necessary to rear the little lives He’s put under our care. That right there should be worth the price of admission and fill your heart with overflowing joy! God has equipped you, specifically, with the gifts necessary to teach and reprove and counsel and train your kids. And He’s done so in a way that is unique to you. Don’t steal that gifting away from your kids by shying away from your parenting. And, D. Verses 11-13 illustrate the grace of God’s in the spiritual influences in our lives. “And he gave the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, the shepherds and teachers, 12 to equip the saints for the work of ministry, for building up the body of Christ, 13 until we all attain to the unity of the faith and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to mature manhood, to the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ.” All of these spiritual leaders are a glorious gift from God to equip us to do His work in our families. But they’re also there to equip our kids as we build our parenting community. But we also have to acknowledge that God expects us to fulfill some of those roles in the lives of our kids. We need to be evangelists introducing life through Christ to them, teachers providing them everything they need to know about godliness through Christ, prophets confronting them in their sin with “Thus saith the Lord,” and shepherds tending their spiritual maturity and growth. The only thing we don’t have to be is apostles! Isn’t God’s grace amazing?! He’s with us, He’s saved us, He’s equipped us with spiritual gifts, and He’s given us men and women who can further train us. So, how about you? If you’ve received His present grace in salvation, are you accessing it in hardship? When your child contradicts you or gets under your skin, are you turning to the present Savior for guidance? Are you honing your gifts to accomplish the unique work God has for you in your kids by attending to biblical teachers? Well, if you’re listening to this podcast, there’s that! But are you changing because of it? But we really need to move on because we’re only halfway through our points for today. We shouldn’t be surprised; we were talking about God’s grace! Okay . . . 1. The Source of our ability to change comes from the Lord. 2. The Source of our ability to change is God’s grace. 3. The success of our ability to change will be rooted in our learning Christ. Let’s read verses 20 through 24: “20 But that is not the way you learned Christ!— 21 assuming that you have heard about him and were taught in him, as the truth is in Jesus, 22 to put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires, 23 and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, 24 and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness.” Our ability to change is rooted in Christ and empowered by His grace in His presence, salvation, gifts, and spiritual influences all designed to do one thing . . . teach us about Jesus Christ — Who He is, how He lived, what His life goals were, and how He would have us live. Now, I should be able to assume that you have heard about Him and have been taught in Him — especially if you’ve been listening to this podcast for any length of time, but it is possible that perhaps you haven’t grown up hearing about Jesus. Perhaps you’ve stumbled across this podcast and are either a new Christian or someone being drawn to Truth. Either way, I welcome you and want to encourage you that there is nothing more important for your life and parenting than knowing the Bible, understanding the Bible, and living the Bible. And you can accomplish that in any number of ways. The very best way is to open the Bible, read it, memorize it, and study it. The second best thing to do is find a truly bible-preaching church. I recommend you listen to the “Your Family Needs to Go to Church” series — I’ll link it below. But it talks about the purpose, motivation, kind, and consequences of church, and should be helpful in finding one near you. But there are other ways to study the Bible that involve books and podcasts and videos, but please understand that most of your study should be deep in the Bible itself, and the best aids are going to be full of it as well. So, are you learning Christ? Is Bible study a regular part of your life? If you want to be the beginning of change in your family, it’s going to start by you opening the Scriptures. But, before we move on to our last point, I want to remind us what it means to learn Christ. In the “Teach Your Children to Learn” series we discussed how God created and expects us to learn. Learning is not just the acquisition of knowledge. It encompasses comprehension and application of that knowledge to life. Please don’t adopt a casual Pinterest approach to learning Christ. “Oh, that’s a nice picture. That’s an inspirational quote. What a nice idea.” And then move one. No. If we’re going to stay with the Pinterest metaphor, we need to be the ones who see something inspirational and then go out of our way to recreate it . . . to actually do it, make it our own, and live it. James 1:22-25 puts it this way: “But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves. 23 For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man who looks intently at his natural face in a mirror. 24 For he looks at himself and goes away and at once forgets what he was like. 25 But the one who looks into the perfect law, the law of liberty, and perseveres, being no hearer who forgets but a doer who acts, he will be blessed in his doing.” And Jesus said in Matthew 7:24-27, “Everyone then who hears these words of mine and does them will be like a wise man who built his house on the rock. 25 And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house, but it did not fall, because it had been founded on the rock. 26 And everyone who hears these words of mine and does not do them will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand. 27 And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell, and great was the fall of it.” That’s learning Christ. It’s not good enough to just read the Word, we need to understand it and put it into practice. But how can we ever hope to accomplish something so grand? We’re just imperfect mortals? How can God really expect us to accomplish this? It’s going to happen the same way you were saved? You weren’t born again through your own power, and you won’t be sanctified through your own power. Though you need to participate in your spiritual maturity . . . 4. The Source of our ability to continue changing is the Holy Spirit. And now we’ve made full circle. It’s that one Spirit Who indwells every believer Who provides us the daily grace necessary to grow in Christ, change into His image, and exhibit that new self to our kids. Verse 30 warns us, “And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.” We don’t have time to discuss the concept of being sealed, but it has to do with the fact that if we are born again, our relationship with God is signed, sealed, and delivered. And the sustaining power is provided by the Holy Spirit of God. ConclusionI don’t know about you, but I feel like I really flew through that. I always have to remind myself that this is not a church, this is not a university class, this is not the venue for that type of in-depth study, but I do hope that it’s encouraged and challenged you.
I pray it can at least define your trajectory as you find others in your parenting community to help you practically work through these steps. So, lets be reminded of the big lessons from today: 1. The Source of our ability to change comes from the Lord. 2. The Source of our ability to change is God’s grace. 3. The success of our ability to change will be rooted in our learning Christ. 4. The Source of our ability to continue changing is the Holy Spirit. If you want to be the start of great things in your family, you must rely completely on God — Who He is, what He does, how He’s called you to live with Him. On our final episode of this series we’re going to look at The Fruit of personal change. What does this Christlikeness founded on God and His Word actually and practically look like in our lives . . . and how will that be the beginning of change for our families? Please join us for that, and don’t forget to subscribe so you get all of our free biblical parenting resources because there is nothing more important for your family than God and His Word, and that’s what we want to provide you. So, to that end, I’ll see you next time.
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