TLP 189: 10 Things All Parents Should Hate, Part 1

Wait! Christians are supposed to hate things? Join AMBrewster as he introduces Christian parents to the meaning of biblical hate, shows us how God can love and hate things at the same time, and sets the stage to unveil the ten things all parents should hate.

Check out 5 Ways to Support TLP.
Click here for our free Parenting Course!

Like us on Facebook.
Follow us on Twitter.
Follow AMBrewster on Twitter.
Follow us on Pinterest.
Subscribe on YouTube.

Need some help? Write to us at [email protected].

Click "Read More" for today’s Episode Notes and Transcript.

---

Episode Notes

To download this document, please right-click and select "Save Image As."

---

Transcript

Introduction

So, did that title peak your interest — “10 Things All Parents Should Hate”?​

I’m looking forward to this two-part episode. It’s really important that we understand our God, His Word, and ourselves, and these episodes desire to do just that.

But before we jump into the discussion for today, let me remind you of a couple really important things that are coming up.

First, on September 17th, 2018, we will be having our first ever TLP meetup in Dallas, Texas. You can go to Facebook right now and click “attending.” You can also send an email to [email protected] to reserve your spot.

It will be a time of challenge, learning, fellowshipping, counsel, prayer, and whatever else we can do to be a blessing to you.

And if you’d like to have a TLP meetup in your area, you too can contact [email protected] or go to the Speakers tab of TruthLoveParent.com.

And then on September 25th, 2018, we’ll be celebrating our second full year of podcasting, and on October 5th, we plan to publish our 200th episode.

This is an exciting time for us, and we hope that all of this helps us fulfill our mission of equipping parents to the glory of God.

So, I hope you’re excited for the future of TLP. I know I am because there’s nothing more important any one of us can do than to publish the glad tidings of God’s eternal Word.

So, with that said, let’s jump into today’s episode.

Topic

The first thing we need to do is adopt a biblical definition of love and hate.​

In our culture, love and hate are mutually exclusive concepts, and “hate” is attached to everything bad in this world. Hate-speech, hate-groups, you get the idea.

But did you know that there are things Christian should hate?

How do we reconcile this?

Here’s how:

1. We need to understand the biblical definition of love. Now, I could do a whole month of episodes on love. Oh, wait . . . I did. 

And part of that month was dedicated to a 7 part series called the “The Four Family Loves” series. It starts in episode 128, and it will be very important that you understand that God’s definition of love is not the world’s.

2. And then we also need a biblical definition of hate. 

The closest we’ve come to that on this show is episode 126, “How to Rear a Hateful Kid.” That might also be a great follow-up to today’s show.

So, let me take a moment to very quickly and superficially get us all on the same page.

1. First, love and hate are not emotions.

We’ve talked a lot about emotions on this show, it’s another really important topic, but love and hate do not fit into the category of feelings.

2. Biblically speaking, love and hate are both choices.

So, the next logical question is “What choice is being made?”

3. Love is the choice to do what’s in God’s best interest for the person loved.

4. Christ-honoring hate is the choice to set yourself against something or someone.

Now, what does that mean?

Let me start by saying that there are at least three different definitions of hatred in the Bible. 

One of the definitions is “to detest.” In John 7:7 Jesus says, “The world cannot hate you, but it hates me because I testify about it that its works are evil.”

Another definition is to “love less.” In Luke 14:26 Jesus says, “If anyone comes to me and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be my disciple.”

The Greek word being used has both of those meanings.

But there’s also the idea of “setting yourself against something, aka: to be an enemy of. We see this in Psalm 26:5, “I hate the assembly of evildoers, and I will not sit with the wicked.”

Vines Complete Expository Dictionary reads, “This verb appears in Ugaritic, Moabite, Aramaic, and Arabic. It appears in all periods of Hebrew and about 145 times in the Bible. [It ranges] from intense “hatred” to the much weaker “set against” and is used of persons and things.”

Later it goes on to say, “In a weaker sense, [this word] signifies “being set against” something. Jethro advised Moses to select men who hated [“were set against”] covetousness to be secondary judges over Israel (Exodus. 18:21). A very frequent but special use of the verb means “to be unloved.” For example, [this word] may indicate that someone is “untrustworthy,” therefore an enemy to be ejected from one’s territory. This sense is found in an early biblical occurrence, in which Isaac said to Abimelech and his army: “Wherefore come ye to me, seeing ye hate me, and have sent me away from you?” (Genesis. 26:27).”

Now, I went into that much detail because it’s going to be very important to understand my fifth point.

1. Love and hate are not emotions.
2. Love and hate are both choices.
3. Love is the choice to do what’s in God’s best interest for the person loved.
4. Christ-honoring hate is the choice to set yourself against something or someone.
5. Love and hate can perfectly co-exist.

Consider John 3:16, “For God so loved the world.”

But then consider Proverbs 6:16-19. It starts this way, “There are six things that the Lord hates, seven that are an abomination to him.”

He then lists out seven things. And these are the last two: “a false witness who breathes out lies, and one who sows discord among brothers.”

Let’s put out the middle five and read the beginning and the end together: “There are six things that the Lord hates, seven that are an abomination to him: a false witness who breathes out lies, and one who sows discord among brothers.”

How does the Lord both love the false witness and hate him at the same time? How does He hate the one who sows discord among brothers and yet love them so much that He would send His son to die for them?

The reality is that the sentence, “God hates the sin, but loves the sinner” is both correct and incorrect. Yes, God hates sin. Yes, God loves sinners. But it’s equally biblical to say that “Gods hates the sin, and He hates the sinner,” or “God hates the sin and loves the sinner.”

Here’s how.

For those of you with rebellious children, this should resonate.

Let’s say your child has turned from God and embraced a horrific lifestyle. You cannot support what they do. You can’t bankroll it; you can’t allow it; you can’t even tolerate it. But yet you unconditionally love your children.

You have set yourself against their lifestyle, you may have even set yourself against them in that you have had to send them from the house or take back family privileges until they submit to God, but you still want God’s best for them. In fact, setting yourself against them was a huge part of your showing them that you love them.

Now, in a modern context of emotionally driven definitions and secular, messed up ideas of love and hate, it’s really easy for everything I’m saying to sound foreign and — maybe — even a little wrong.

But stick with me.

I believe this will make more sense as we dig into God’s word.

So, here we go.

All throughout the Bible we’re told that God hates things. In fact, there are at least ten.

1. God hates false worship. Jeremiah 44:4-5 says, “I persistently sent to you all my servants the prophets, saying, ‘Oh, do not do this abomination that I hate! But they did not listen or incline their ear, to turn from their evil and make no offerings to other gods.”

As we come to the end of Season 7 — a season all about God’s Truth — we’re going to discuss worship within the context of the family. There is so much we need to learn.

But God not only hates false worship . . .

2. God hates incorrect worship. 

Isaiah 1:14 reads, “Your new moons and your appointed feasts my soul hates; they have become a burden to me; I am weary of bearing them.”

Amos 5:21 says, “I hate, I despise your feasts, and I take no delight in your solemn assemblies.”

Isaiah 61:8 reads, “For I the Lord love judgment, I hate robbery for burnt offering.”

3. God hates the prideful.

4. God hates liars.

5. God hates murderers.

6. God hates those with wicked intentions.

7. God hates mischief makers.

8. God hates people who tear down relationships.

And all of this is found in the passage I referenced earlier. Proverbs 6:16-18 says, “There are six things that the Lord hates, seven that are an abomination to him: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked plans, feet that make haste to run to evil, a false witness who breathes out lies, and one who sows discord among brothers.”

Please notice two things: 

1. Liars are mentioned twice. That’s important to note.
2. God uses synecdoche throughout this entire section. Synecdoche is a form of figurate language that uses a part of the whole to represent the whole. 

In the sentence, “The hand that rocks the cradle rules the world,” the “hand” is being used to refer to the mother.

Look again through this passage: it’s the haughty eyes, the lying tongue, the hands that shed innocent blood, the heart that devises wicked plans, and the feet that run to evil. And it appears the natural conclusion of the synecdoche is that the last two comments then put them all together to refer to the whole man: “a false witness who breathes out lies, and one who sows discord among brothers.”

It’s not that God only hates the eyes, hands, heart, tongue, and feet, it’s that He’s set Himself against the whole man who lives in abomination.

Okay, we need to move on.

9. God hates divorce.

Malachi 2:16 reads, “‘For I hate divorce,” says the Lord, the God of Israel.”

I’m sorry to say something that could sound hurtful and leave some of you confused and then rush on, but this is not the time or place for a fuller discussion on this topic.

I do plan to discuss the topic of divorce in the future, and I hope it will be a help, challenge, and blessing to you.

Moving on . . .

10. God hates perverted speech.

Proverbs 8:13 says, “The fear of the Lord is hatred of evil. Pride and arrogance and the way of evil and perverted speech I hate.”

Conclusion

Let’s recap.​

Love and hate are not emotions. They are choices that can and should coexist.

We also saw the specifics of God’s hatred. If we were to boil it down, we’d say that He hates sin and the people who consistently live in sin.

But even though God hates sin and those who commit it, He still loves them.

When we sin, we set ourselves against God. We make ourselves His enemy. Even if we’re born again. 

No, we don’t lose our salvation, but we’re like soldiers taking potshots at our own side. Sin hurts and we’re actively hurting ourselves and others. That’s enemy behavior right there.

And God, in His holiness, can’t side with sin. He sets Himself against it.

But He loves the sinner nonetheless. He wants His best for them. He wants them to cease from sin, come back to His side, and embrace righteousness and life. He wants us firing at the right enemy again.

So, based off all of this, our next episode is going to answer the question, “What am I supposed to hate?”

But we’re also going to answer the question, “Why am I supposed to hate these things?”

And we’re going to take a look at how this should work itself our practically in your homes.

Now, I know, asking you to share this episode may seem strange, but we all need to hear this. As Ambassadors of God, we all need to be able to understand and walk the seeming tension between love and hate that God does.

As always, our episode notes are at Taking Back the Family. I hope they’re a help as you desire to know God’s mind on the subject. I always include all of the references from the episode so you can study them later.

Sometimes we encounter things in God’s Word that seem contradictory or impossible, but we must believe that God makes sense and that He will empower us to do what He commands.

To do that end, I’ll see you next time.