TLP 10: Fluffy Children's Ministries | youth and children ministries best practices

Are the spiritual authorities in your kids’ lives teaching them Truth or helping them become moral pagans? Join us today to find out if the teen and children’s ministries in your church are too “fluffy.”

Check out Kids4Truth’s article here about how to know if your children’s ministry is too “fluffy.”

And please read Barrett Johnson’s article about how to raise a pagan kid in a Christian home here.

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Click "Read More" for today’s Transcript.

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Next Episode: For What Should Your Family Be Thankful?

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Transcript

Topic

I like fluffy bunnies.

I enjoy wearing fluffy socks.

And I love fluffy cotton candy.

But should our children’s programs be fluffy?

Kids4Truth wrote a great article about this phenomenon here:

But I’d like share my thoughts for a minute, if I may.

Have you ever really considered the spiritual efficacy of singing “Deep and Wide”?

If you couldn’t already tell, I’m a very involved parent. I remember the first Sunday my son told me he sang “Deep and Wide” in Sunday School. I said, “That’s great! Do you know what that song means?”

After about a minute of blank stares, I clued him in.

You see, there’s No G-Rated Version of the Bible

Have you ever noticed that though God has some specific instruction for children, there’s no kid-version of the Bible?

The Gospel’s the same.

The Spirit’s empowerment is the same.

The responsibilities for spiritual growth are the same.

With the exceptions of relationship-specific commands, the entirety of the Bible applies to children as it does to adults.

So why do our children’s ministries differ so much from the others in the church? Why do we feel the need to fluff our kids’ programs? Why do we even have children’s ministries? I believe it’s more culturally informed than biblically informed.

Consider This

Have you ever heard someone say, “But she’s only four.” as if that somehow excuses her brattiness? What about, “He’s going through a phase.” Am I allowed to use that excuse to sweep my behavior under the rug?

It’s obvious that children are different than adults in many ways (height notwithstanding), but do you realize that when it comes to God’s truth . . . there’re very few differences.
“But,” you say, “the Bible tells us that foolishness is bound in the heart of children! See, there are intrinsic differences!"

Yes, but every other example of a fool in the Bible refers to adults. Foolishness resides in their hearts just as much. And just as the rod of correction will drive out the child’s foolishness, so does the rod to the back of the bigger fool.

In my years of ministry I’ve noticed that almost every single reason or source we cite to defend that children need something that adults don’t, or that we should treat them differently, comes from extra-biblical sources. It’s impossible to argue for a fluffy children’s ministry from Scripture.

None of the biblical injunctions for the mini-people living in our homes can be used to argue for flannel boards or circle-games. Should children honor and obey their parents? Yes. But the only thing I can extrapolate from this command is that children should receive instruction from and submit to their parents. It has no bearing on their ability to understand the Bible or my necessity to use cute morality tales.

In fact, Jesus Himself told the group of men who followed Him that unless they became as a child they could not be converted! He told the apostles that unless they humbled themselves as children, they wouldn’t even understand God’s truth. Perhaps the adults are the ones who need flannel boards.

My point in all of this is simple. Many of the reasons we have a children’s ministry are simply unbiblical.

Don’t misunderstand me . . .

I’m all about a children’s ministry that exists for Christ-honoring, biblical reasons. Unfortunately, most of the time it’s a glorified baby-sitting service because mom and dad don’t want to have to deal with the children they haven’t taught to listen to and understand God’s Word.

Fluffy children’s ministries stand in opposition to the truth that God gives us everything we need for life and godliness from the pages of His Word and the power of a His Spirit . . . and it doesn’t matter how young the believer is! The Father still loves them in His perfection. The Son still died for them in His holiness. The Spirit still works in them to His fullest. They have the same gospel. They have the same responsibilities. They have the same Bible.

How do I check my ministry’s Fluff-Rating?

Do you avoid reading the actual words of the Bible? Isn’t paraphrasing good enough?

Do you find more value in an event or game than you do a lesson? Children won’t want to come to Sunday School if they won’t enjoy themselves!

Do you sing songs with little-to-no understandable spiritual application (“Father Abraham”), or do you sing songs with spiritual depth but forget to explain the concepts (“Deep and Wide,” or “The Wise Man Built His House Upon the Rock”)? Everyone knows “Father Abraham” was written to wear kids out before the lesson! How else can we expect them to pay attention?

Do you teach more missionary stories and Billy/Suzy illustrations than biblical truth? But missionary stories have more adventure than the Bible!

Do you promote morality without emphasizing the deeper reality of a relationship with God? Veggie Tales teach kids how to behave. Who needs doctrine?

Speaking of Veggie Tales, listen to these thoughts by Barrett Johnson:

Every Imperfect and Normal Family wants their kids to turn out right. So, we establish goals for character development and try to create an environment where our kids can mature. Church, school, sports teams, family relationships . . . each of these provides a context where our kids can learn to “love your neighbor as yourself.” 

Unfortunately, our “good” objectives might have absolutely nothing to do with the gospel of Jesus Christ. And we inadvertently end up raising pagans instead of Christians. 

Too many times, Christian parents have it as their goal to make their kids good and moral. It is as if the entire purpose of their family’s spiritual life is to shape their children into law-abiding citizens who stay out of trouble. The only problem with this goal is that it runs in stark contrast to what the Bible teaches. The gospel is not about making bad people moral, but about making dead people alive. If we teach morality without the transforming power of the gospel and the necessity of a life fully surrendered to God's will, then we are raising moral pagans. 

 We end up teaching the wrong thing because we have the wrong objectives.

This sentiment was stirred in me afresh when I read an interview with Veggie Tales creator Phil Vischer. He was reflecting on how the “Christian message” he was trying to teach wasn’t Christianity at all...

"I looked back at the previous 10 years and realized I had spent 10 years trying to convince kids to behave Christianly without actually teaching them Christianity. And that was a pretty serious conviction. You can say, "Hey kids, be more forgiving because the Bible says so," or "Hey kids, be more kind because the Bible says so!" But that isn't Christianity, it's morality. . . And that was such a huge shift for me from the American Christian ideal. We're drinking a cocktail that's a mix of the Protestant work ethic, the American dream, and the gospel. And we've intertwined them so completely that we can't tell them apart anymore. Our gospel has become a gospel of following your dreams and being good so God will make all your dreams come true. It's the Oprah god.”

So what is your objective?

Do you teach your kids "be good because the Bible tells you to" or do you teach your kids that they will never be good without Christ’s offer of grace? There is a huge difference. One leads to moralism; the other leads to brokenness. One leads to self-righteousness; the other leads to a life that realizes that Christ is everything and that nothing else matters.   

I want my kids to be good. We all do. But as our kids grow up, the truth of the gospel can easily get lost somewhere between salvation (where we know we need Jesus) and living life (where we tend to say “I’ve got this”). My experience is that the vast majority of parents are encouraging moral behavior in their kids so that God will bless their (usually self-centered) pursuits. It's the American Dream plus Jesus. And it produces good, moral pagans. 
Consider the key objectives you have for your kids. Seriously, take a minute to think about what would deem you a successful [parent /counselor].
If your goals are focused on your kids’ behavior, their happiness, or their accomplishments (but don’t include a dependence upon Christ and a submission to His will and work), then you might want to make some adjustments.
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The world has enough pagans; even plenty of really nice ones. What we need is kids who fully grasp the reality that they have nothing to offer, but who intimately know a God who has everything they need. 

Conclusion

1. Do you know what I find really interesting? Churches with the most biblically sound children’s ministries promote kids sitting with their families in the main service, and the kids’ service times they do have resemble the adult services with informed worship, biblical exposition, and appropriate application . . . and they know how to have fun too.
   
2. I would highly encourage you to spend some time getting to know your children’s Sunday School and Children’s Church programs. Are they assisting followers of Christ in their sanctification, or are they equipping the next generation of moral pagans?
   
3. If you’re involved in children’s ministries, first know that I thank you for your service. But I’d like to encourage you to reevaluate your program and the philosophies underlying it. Be certain your program is Christ-centered and Bible-dominated.
   
4. In a future episode we’re going to discuss Ken Ham’s book “Already Gone” and how you can help your kids not be the next ones to leave the church and never come back. One of his biggest points touches on what we’ve looked at today. The quality of our children’s ministries is paramount to our kids developing a genuine and robust relationship with God.

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Next Episode: For What Should Your Family Be Thankful?

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