Proverbs: Hope for New Dads, Day 3

Day 3: Discernment

Proverbs 3:5-6 
Trust in the LORD with all your heart, 
and do not lean on your own understanding. 
In all your ways acknowledge him, 
and he will make straight your paths.

One challenge of raising boys is that they are perpetually hungry (except at mealtimes when they like to mess around). So I must often remind my boys, “No, you may not have a snack half-an-hour before dinner.” We teach them that sugar is not a food group and, “Yes, you do have to eat your vegetables.” Dads, when children are young, you make most of their decisions for them. Yet as they grow older, you teach them to take responsibility: “What do you think about your friend’s comment? What’s the right decision in this situation? What are some ways you can spend your birthday money? What makes this college better than that one?” You train your children how to make decisions on their own, so that when they leave your home they possess a measure of wisdom for themselves. 

Suppose my son goes off to college and one day gives me a call: “Hey dad. The guys are going out for pizza Friday night. Can I go? Can I?” 
​
I would say to him . . .

Read More

“Son, that’s on you. I have trained you to make wise choices and I’m always here if you need to talk, but I will not make your every decision.” We all know there’s something wrong if we treat our children the same at eighteen years as we did at eighteen months. 

The student of Proverbs must “understand words of insight” (Prov. 1:2b). The root word, “to understand” (repeated twice in the Hebrew for emphasis) means to divide in two and thus to separate. As Solomon had prayed, “Give your servant therefore an understanding mind to govern your people, that I may discern between good and evil, for who is able to govern this your great people?” (1 Kgs. 3:9). Discernment is being able to separate right from wrong, good from evil, truth from lies, and temporal pleasures from eternal values. It is the ability to look at two options and see what God sees. Thus right discernment must be based upon the Word of God. According to Proverbs 3:5, “Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own [discernment].” Dads, many situations, which seem hazy at first, will become more and more clear as you seek God’s counsel in his Word. You will not see what God sees until you know what he has given you to know. So ask yourself: “This past week, what was the hardest decision I had to make? How did I know the right thing to do and did I finally make the right decision?” Discernment is looking at two options and seeing the truth which God sees.

The Bible, however, is not a topical index providing answers for every life decision. Rather, God’s Word guides you into a conversation with your Creator. Proverbs has much to say about choosing the right path, acting in wisdom, receiving blessed rewards, and avoiding deadly consequences. Yet the fear of the Lord underlies everything as the foundation of wisdom (1:7). God’s primary purpose in decision-making is not that you make the right choices, but that you mature as you grow in relationship with him. So try not to focus on individual decisions: “What school? Which job? Whom to marry? Where to live?” Instead, ask yourself at the end of each decision: “Have I grown in reverent obedience and worshipful joy in the Lord my God?” The truth God desires you to see is ultimately himself.

Prayer: Dear Heavenly Father, Enable me to see the truth in your Word and grant me discernment in the decisions of life. Like Solomon becoming king, I feel young and inexperienced as a new dad. Give your servant therefore an understanding mind to father my children that I may discern between good and evil. For who is able to undertake this daunting task alone? Help me to trust in you with all my heart, instead of leaning on my own understanding. In your Son’s name, Amen.

LifeWork: Write down one way you will apply today’s Proverb.

---

Tom Sugimura

Tom is a third-generation Asian American who left his engineering career when God called him into local church ministry. Tom helped replant a historic church and is now the lead pastor of New Life Church in Woodland Hills, CA. This revitalization effort resulted in a healthy church being planted and also created a blueprint for other churches across the nation to do the same. New Life Church has since begun a Greenhouse Program to train young men in pastoral ministry and church planting.  
Tom is also a visiting professor with The Master’s University, The Master’s Academy International, and Overseas Instruction in Counseling. He received a doctorate in biblical counseling from Southern Seminary and has a heart to train pastors and counselors internationally. Tom has been married fourteen wonderful years and he and his wife are raising four rambunctious children. So far, the joys of parenting have far outweighed the challenges.

Gratitude for Truth.Love.Parent. I have been greatly encouraged by the ministry of Truth.Love.Parent as both a pastor and a father. The teaching is consistently biblical, brief enough for busy parents, and communicated in ways that stick. My wife and I have been challenged with many points for discussion as we listen to the podcast together. As a pastor, Truth.Love.Parent is my first recommendation to the families in our church.