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TranscriptIntroduction
I’m your host AMBrewster, and today is the 11th and final episode in our How Your Children Respond to Sin series.
I pray this has been informative and equipping. In many ways, I can understand how this will not go down as our most consumed series because it’s a counterintuitive concern. We’re all focused on helping our children not sin in the first place . . . but understanding our natural and Spirit-empowered responses to sin after we’ve committed it is incredibly helpful to help our kids not continue sinning in the future. Regardless, I’m glad you’re hear, I’m glad you’re a subscriber, and I’m honored to be walking this parenting road with you. And that’s why we create free episode notes, a transcript, and why we share related resources in the description of each episode . . . so that you can be better equipped to glorify God in your parenting. So, let’s dive into what should prove to be the most hopeful and enjoyable episode of the entire series. Topic
You may or may not have noticed that the title of the first 9 episodes in this series was “How Your Children Respond to Sin,” but the title of the last two are “How Your Children May Respond to Sin.” The knowledge, delusion, callousness, anger, fear, and blame responses are all too natural, and you’d be hard-pressed to find a single person who hasn’t experienced all of those to one degree or another.
Even the conviction response is experienced at some point by everyone. It’s part of what the Holy Spirit is here to do. But the humility and repentance responses are an act of God in our lives. This means that they’re impossible to have without His direct working, and are therefore only potentials toward which we’re parenting in God’s strength and for His glory. If you remember the conviction episode, this is something in which we should be participating. We want to be used by God to be a reproving and convicting agent in the lives of our kids so that they may experience the humility and repentance responses. I will also say where you have one of these beneficial responses, you will by necessity have to have the other. They cannot exist without the other. It’s like trying to conceive of a one-sided coin . . . it’s impossible. Conviction can occur without change; we talked about that, but humility always leads to repentance, and repentance requires humility to occur. But before we dive any deeper into this discussion, I want to remind you of another of the Evermind Ministries called Faithtree Biblical Counseling and Discipleship. I know many of you have reached out to me and our TLP Counselors for help in the arenas of marriage, parenting, and family, but we also counsel on any and all topics. Whether it’s addiction, conciliation, trying to understand God’s will in regard to decision-making, suffering, or any other of the countless life experiences we have . . . we’re here to help. Now, I would encourage you to write to us at [email protected], but we’re having some difficulty with some of our domains as of late. So, you can feel free to write to [email protected] and trust that it’s going to all the same people. Regardless of your question or need, we’re equipped to help you. And—lastly—don’t forget that we are a listener-supported ministry. It’s your faithful giving that not only keeps Evermind’s lights on, but it’s what pays me and provides for my family. We’re so thankful for those of you who give and ask that you keep doing it—and increase your giving as the Lord allows—but if you aren’t currently a donor to this ministry, will you please consider becoming one? You can visit TruthLoveParent.com/donate right now to learn more. I pray you will. Now, let’s talk about . . . 1. The Repentance Response to Sin This is a topic we’ve discussed in a decent amount of detail on previous episodes. For that reason, we won’t dig quite as deep as we otherwise may because there are other resources that can expand the discussion for you. For example, we just recently finished up the Parenting Sorrowing Children Series. In that series we talked about Discipleship Sorrow that leads to true repentance. In fact, today we’ll be looking at one of the key passages that episode considered. We also have the Parent’s 5 Jobs Series. We talk a lot about repentance in this series because you can never enter the Correction or Training stages of parenting until your children at least desire to cross that repentance bridge. That series also goes into a lot of detail about how to guide your children to repentance. And there’s also the two-part Teach Your Children to Apologize Series. And I think the title tells you everything you need to know about those episodes. However, to sum it up here, repentance is not a feeling or a desire. Repentance is an action. A. The Definition By definition, repentance means “to turn.” It’s not enough to feel like turning. It’s not enough to want to turn. A person must actually turn in order to repent. But from what or to what are they turning? The biblical imagery of repentance is—most simply—a turning away from self-worship and sin to God-worship and righteousness. B. The Conviction No one ever desires to repent if they don’t believe what they’ve done is wrong. That’s why conviction is a necessary prerequisite. As you may remember from Part 4 of this series, conviction ultimately comes as a result of the working of the Holy Spirit, but always requires the truth of Scripture, and often requires the truthful, loving reproof of God’s people. C. The Steps Repenting requires three main steps. The first step is to stop going the direction you were formerly going. This will likely mean cutting off the beliefs, thoughts, desires, feelings, actions, and words that were identified as being the result of sinful self-worship. The second step is to turn. I believe this moment occurs when a person commits to change. Yes, they’re no longer participating in that which is sinful, but they don’t merely want to stay where they are in their spiritual immaturity. So, they’ve turned away, but they also commit to growth. And the third step involves moving forward in the new direction. Pursuing maturity in their beliefs, thoughts, desires, feelings, actions, and words. Of course, that third step is a lifelong endeavor. We will never reach sinless perfection this side of eternity, and so we daily forget those things which are behind and press onward to our calling in God—Christlikeness. But here we can see all the steps from Ephesians 4:22-24, “to lay aside, in reference to your former conduct, the old man, which is being corrupted in accordance with the lusts of deceit, 23 and to be renewed in the spirit of your mind, 24 and to put on the new man, which in the likeness of God has been created in righteousness and holiness of the truth.” Zaccheus is a wonderful example of this. When he was transformed by Jesus, we read his proclamation in Luke 19:8, “Behold, half of my possessions, Lord, I will give to the poor, and if I have extorted anyone of anything, I will give back four times as much.” Those were the first two steps. He realized he had done wrong and wanted to stop, and he also recognized the Christ-honoring behavior he needed to put on and committed to doing so. Assuming he made good on his word, Zaccheus is a model from which to learn. So, with that simple foundation laid, let’s consider . . . 2. Parenting to and through the Repentance Response A. Use the knowledge gained to point to repentance. When your children sin, they are gaining knowledge. Some of that knowledge will be very useful in helping them understand the need for repentance. That knowledge can be the truth that what they did was a sin. That knowledge could encompass the theme of consequences. As we talked before, God wants to use us in the conviction process. Therefore, it’s wise to utilize all relevant truth in this process. B. Use the delusion gained to point to repentance. As you help your child see the error and danger of their delusion, you should also be calling them to move away from that delusion to truth. That process is repentance. Therefore, we can use both the knowledge and the delusion to help our kids see the necessity of change. C. Use conviction to point to repentance. Just because someone feels convicted does not mean they will change. They may instead pursue callousness. That’s why we should help connect the dots for them. “God has a glorious plan for you. It’s perfect and beautiful. What you did was an affront to God, hurtful to others, and damaging to you. But God loves you and is gracious and wants to help you stop the downward spiral and instead be transformed into His image. That guilt and shame and sorrow you’re experiencing is part of God’s merciful plan to draw you away from your sin.” We work through II Corinthians 7:8-12 in detail in our Parenting Sorrowing Children series, but I want to read part of it here for you now. Starting in verse 10 we read, “For godly sorrow produces a repentance without regret, leading to salvation, but the sorrow of the world brings about death.” Godly sorrow (conviction, guilt, and good shame) are designed to produce repentance in us. But again, be careful, just because sorrow is present doesn’t mean that repentance is on the horizon. Yes, mourning and grief that lead to humility lead to change, but self-centered sorrow is of the world and leads to death because it ignores the need for change. So, as you have taught and reproved your child, Lord willing, he or she is understanding his or her sin, and is ready to confess it. This is the glorious moment we get to move from the reproof stage to the correction stage, but in order to get there, the child will have to cross the repentance bridge. In order to do so, they will have to be humble enough to confess their sin, ask for forgiveness, and start the repentance process. Be sure to equip yourself with the truths we discussed last time about parenting your children into humility because it’s a vital part of this process as well. Once they’re ready to do this . . . D. Show your child how to repent. First, teach them what it is to confess their sin by agreeing with God about what, how, and why they did what they did. Second, teach them how to ask for forgiveness. Again, this is a really important part of the process, but we simply don’t have time to talk about it here. But—don’t worry—as I mentioned before, we have other episodes that go into the importance and process in a lot more detail. Third, after they have confessed their sin and asked for forgiveness, we need to encourage them to commit to change. Yes, they may not currently be hitting their siblings or lying or vaping, but will they commit to putting on the Christ-honoring behaviors that should be in their place? The commitment is important for so many reasons, but without actual movement to keep those commitments, they’re empty. Therefore . . . Fourth, we need to enter the Correction Phase of Biblical Parenting where we help them practically submit to God’s will for their lives. Repentance isn’t fully underway until we’ve started putting on the character of Christ. That doesn’t mean we don’t put off and renew our minds before we put on, it just means we need to get to the putting on, and that’s exactly what the Correction Phase is all about. Lord willing, as the Holy Spirit, God’s Word, and your loving reproof work on their hearts, they will believe the truth and desire to respond to it. Once we help our child understand what it is to repent, we need to actively walk alongside them in the repentance process. The Correction Phase of parenting is actually the hardest because it takes real biblical wisdom and maturity. Too many children aren’t parented from this stage because their parents don’t know how to do it. I hope you’ll listen to our Parent’s 5 Jobs Series and definitely get access to the Biblical Parenting Essentials Conference on the Evermind App. One of our earlier episodes offered a discount to that material. You should check out the descriptions of those episodes and get access to it as soon as possible. If we’re going to do a good job bringing up our children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord, we need to know how to use the Bible to teach, reprove, correct, and train our kids, and the resources I just mentioned are designed to do just that. Conclusion
My friends, your kids are going to sin. They may be sinning right now.
As they sin, they’re going to believe truth and/or lies. Lord willing, they’ll be convicted by the Holy Spirit and God’s people using God’s Word, but they also may be calloused. They may further respond to their sin with more sin like fear, anger, and blame, but we want to call them to humility and repentance. It’s a necessary, daily process that truly is the joy of being a parent. Please share this series and this show with your friends. We so long to equip even more and more dads and moms to worship God with their parenting. And never hesitate to email us at [email protected] or leave a voicemail at (828) 423-0894 if you need assistance guiding your children into and through repentance. On our next episode, we’re getting a sneak peek into Season 32. I’ll see you then.
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