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Episode Notes
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TranscriptIntroduction
Today we get to talk about a very important word that you will probably hear at least once if you ever visit the Brewster home. Today we’re talking about delusion.
It’s a big topic, and I’m in earnest to get started because it’s so important, but don’t forget that you can access today’s free episode notes, transcript, and related resources in the description. You’ll also find important action steps there. So, please take a look. As I was preparing this material, I realized that this episode and the last one probably should have been switched, at least from a logical perspective. But it is what it is, so we’re going with it. However, I will share why I think the logical flow may have been better. So, now let’s talk about what it means to respond to sin with delusion. Topic
Merriam-Webster defines delusion as “something that is falsely believed.” That’s pretty straightforward and helpful.
Of course, this word does show up in the Scriptures. In the Legacy Standard Bible, we find one instance of the English word “delusion” in Proverbs 18:11. It reads, “A rich man’s wealth is his strong city, And like a high wall in his own delusion.” We also find “delusions” in Psalm 73:7, "Their eye bulges from fatness; The delusions of their heart overflow.” However, the Hebrew word underlying the English word is translated others things in the Old Testament. The word refers to imagination, a figure, or a showpiece. Therefore, in other passages it’s translated as carved stones or carved images. I think all of these understandings complement each other and—if we’re being honest—we see delusional people around us nearly ever single day. Any and every time we, our kids, the people in our communities, our friends, or our fellow church members believe something that is not true, they are being delusional. I am delusional far too often. I think this episode should have preceded the episode about callousness because it is delusion that leads to callousness. In fact, we touched on that in the last episode because we talked about how believing a lie leads to callousness. But there’s a good argument to be made for why this episode could have come before the conviction episode. Too often we don’t respond correctly to conviction and require additional conviction from those in our lives for the express reason that we’re believing lies about our sin. I guess, in retrospect I should have talked about knowledge, then delusion, then conviction, and then callousness. Well, keep that order in mind. Sin produces both knowledge and delusion, and our ability to see them for what they are leads to genuine conviction or callousness. An unbeliever is an unbeliever because they do not believe the truth about God and their sin. But born again Christians often believe lies about their sin as well. None of us are immune to this delusion response to sin. So, now let’s ask the question, “Why are we delusional?” But before we dive into the answer, I would like to passionately invite you to consider becoming a TLP Friend—that’s what we call those who donate to this ministry on a monthly basis. Our TLP Friends are the backbone of this ministry. They are the ones that enable us to create these free resources, travel and speak, write books, and counsel families in crisis. The more TLP Friends we have, the more people will be able to be changed by the truth of God’s Word. Will you please consider giving 5, 10, or $20 a month? If you use a program like Rocket Money, you may be surprised to discover just how much money you’re spending on things you didn’t even realize . . . whether that be subscriptions about which you forgot or simply the surprising reality that you really did spend $200 at Starbucks this month! In all seriousness though, your gifts are the only thing standing between this ministry closing its doors and this ministry continuing to faithfully help families better worship God and bask in the glory of His love for us. You can use the link in the description of this episode to donate to our general fund, or you can visit TruthLoveParent.com/donate. Please prayerfully consider how much you can invest in your own family as well as families all over the globe. This podcast has a truly global reach, so your donations are helping to equip dads and moms and kids in countries you will likely never even visit. Thank you for what you will do. The answer to the question, “Why are we delusional?” is . . . 1. The knowledge gained in response to sin is not always accurate. We discussed that every time a child sins, he learns something new from the experience. That new knowledge may have to do with how that sin makes him feel, what it accomplishes for him, or even the consequences of sinning. But quite often the conclusions to which children come are patently false. And this makes sense. In a situation where we believed the wrong things that lead to us thinking about the wrong things which lead to us wanting to do the wrong things which lead to the actual doing of that wrong thing, how on earth could we expect that we were going to interpret all the subsequent information correctly. It was delusion that lead to our initial sin, so it shouldn’t surprise us how easy it is to continue being delusional with all the new information gathered post-sin. This is why in the Parent’s 5 Jobs Series we talk about the Interpretation Stage of parenting where it’s our responsibility to help our kids understand that they interpreted the information incorrectly and help them reinterpret the situation. This is also called the Reproof Stage in the Biblical Parenting Essentials material. By the way, both of those collections are linked for you in the description of today’s episode. Let’s return to the couch-jumping illustration. A child who’s been sent to her room for jumping on the couch again may interpret her mother’s reproof as hatred. That’s not true, but if she moves forward believing her mom hates her, that delusion is going to result in a lot of relational carnage. So, wrong knowledge is a very dangerous response to sin. But let’s dig deeper. 2. Delusion causes our kids to misunderstand the problem. When Adam and Eve sinned, they concluded that their biggest issue was their nakedness. Later, when confronted by God, they all wrongfully believed that their sin was someone else’s fault. A similar situation occurred with Cain. In Genesis 4, Cain brought the first fruits of his produce to God. By the way, the fact that Cain did not bring a blood sacrifice wasn’t the issue. The word used to describe Cain’s sacrifice is the exact same word used to describe various non-animal sacrifices the Jews were commanded to give to God. The word is most often used to describe grain offerings. And—keep in mind—the Jews also sacrificed drink offerings, wave offerings, and burned incense. This is important to point out because I believe it was the delusion of Cain’s initial offering that lead to the delusion that followed the Lord’s reproof. Though the Scripture doesn’t tell us what Cain’s motivation was, it does tell us how he responded to reproof. If Cain had offered the fruit of the ground as an act of worship to please the Lord, and that same Lord had confronted him about his worship not pleasing the Lord, it would be expected that someone who wants nothing more than to please their God would be repentant and desirous to fix the problem. But what does Cain do? He became angry at the fact that God didn’t have regard for his offering. And when confronted by God again for his anger, he believe his brother was the real problem. And when God reproved him once again for the murder of his brother, instead of understanding the true impact of his sin and experiencing the conviction of the Lord, Cain did nothing more than lament how hard the consequences were going to make his life. That is not the thinking of a person who is selflessly seeking to please the Lord. So, because of Cain’s selfish motivation for the sacrifice, it’s not surprising that his delusion extended to misinterpreting the real problem in his life. As we fast forward, we meet a descendent of Cain. His name is Lamech. We read that he was vengeful man. When another man struck him, and when a boy wounded him, he saw the other people as the problem. Now, we don’t know why these people wanted to hurt Lamech. No doubt there was sin on all sides, but the point is that Lamech was delusional concerning the real problem of the moment. Like so many others, I wouldn’t be surprised to learn that Lamech had probably started the altercation. Like so many of the at-risk teens with whom I worked, if they called someone’s mom a mean name, and they were subsequently punched in the face, and then they attacked the other guy, when asked why he was choking out the other kid, the boy will never admit that he got punched because of his wicked words. All he’ll tell me is, “He hit me!” When your kids sin, you have to understand that they are gleaning important information from the experience. It’s really valuable for you to understand the factual knowledge they have learned. But it’s even more important for you to understand the misinformation they’ve concluded as well. Here are some questions to consider: A. What do they believe the current problem is? They may think you’re the problem. She may think it’s her sister who’s at fault. He may believe that life just isn’t fair. B. Why do they think they’re receiving consequences? Do they think you hate them? Do they believe you simply don’t understand what really happened? Does she think her sister is your favorite? C. What are they concluding about God and their other authority? Is God unjust? Does He require too much from them? Does he believe his authority figures are stupid? D. How do they view their sin? Does she think it’s no big deal? Does he believe it’s not fitting the consequence? When sin enters our lives, information comes with it. Some of that information will be accurate. We’ll better understand our sinful hearts, the consequences of our sin, how the sin makes us feel, and even how to sin better next time. But far too often the information we glean is simply wrong interpretations of the facts. We think the real problem is someone or something else. If everyone else just saw it the way you do, there wouldn’t even be a problem. But this is not where our delusion stops. In fact, it gets worse. 3. Delusion causes our kids to misunderstand how to fix the problem. If we have come to completely wrong conclusions about the issue, we should not be surprised to hear that we’re going to come to completely wrong answers to the issue. Let’s consider Adam and Eve. Because they thought their nakedness was the real issue, because they thought that God was the issue, here was their solution to the problems: Genesis 3:7, “And the eyes of both of them were opened, and they knew that they were naked; and they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves loin coverings.” Then in verse 10, “I heard the sound of You in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid.” Verses 12-13 read, “And the man said, ‘The woman whom You gave to be with me, she gave to me from the tree, and I ate.’ 13 Then Yahweh God said to the woman, ‘What is this you have done?”’And the woman said, ‘The serpent deceived me, and I ate.’” Every time they tried to fix their problem, they messed up even more. What about Cain? What was the solution to his perceived problem? Genesis 4:8, “Then Cain spoke to Abel his brother; and it happened when they were in the field, that Cain rose up against Abel his brother and killed him.” When confronted by God for committing the first murder, Cain replies to his consequences, “My punishment is too great to bear! 14 Behold, You have driven me this day from the face of the ground; and from Your face I will be hidden, and I will be a vagrant and a wanderer on the earth, and it will be that whoever finds me will kill me.” What did Cain want to fix the problem of his consequences? He wanted protection and stability and comfort. Of course, verse 15 tells us that God in His mercy and grace “appointed a sign for Cain, so that no one who found him would strike him,” and that “whoever kills Cain, vengeance will be taken on him sevenfold.” I read that last part specifically so that Lamech’s story will make more sense. Starting in Genesis 4:23 we read, “And Lamech said to his wives, ‘Adah and Zillah, Hear my voice, You wives of Lamech, Give ear to my word, For I have killed a man for striking me; And a boy for wounding me; 24 If Cain is avenged sevenfold, Then Lamech seventy-sevenfold.” Lamech viewed the other people as his problem, and he believed—just like his great-great-great grandfather—that revenge was his solution. And that belief was partially founded in another delusion. Did you hear how he used God’s prophecy concerning Cain? God said, “Therefore whoever kills Cain, vengeance will be taken on him sevenfold.” Lamech said, “If Cain is avenged sevenfold, Then Lamech seventy-sevenfold.” Lamech was audacious enough to believe two lies here: one was that he was somehow more deserving of vengeance than Cain, and the other was the arbiter of that vengeance. We know from Deuteronomy 32:35, Romans 12:19, and Hebrews 10:30 that “Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,” says the Lord.” Lamech was delusional enough to believe he could exact vengeance seventy-sevenfold when in actuality, that’s God’s job, and it’s never a good idea to try to take God’s jobs. By the way, we have an episode entitled “5 Ways You Take God’s Job.” You should check it out. Conclusion
We all have delusional responses to our sin and the knowledge we glean from it. We are all tempted to believe lies, and those lies lead to callousness, fear, anger, and blame. But a right view of the problem and the solution will always lead to humility and repentance.
We need to help our kids reinterpret the facts in light of God’s Word. In order to do that, it’s really important for us to understand what lies they’re believing. To this end, I share a resource in our Merest Christianity Series. That series identifies why your kids do what they do, and I discuss a tool that was created by the Wilds Christian Camp and Conference Center as well as a Think Sheet I designed to complement that tool. Using those tools in conjunction helps us and our kids get to the bottom of their delusion and learn to replace it with belief in truth. Once you understand the lies at the root of their thinking, you need to be able to counter those lies with biblical truth. That means that you have to know God, know His Word, and know how to apply His truth to your family’s life. The vast majority of our episodes try to teach just that, but I do have one of our earliest episodes entitled “Applying God’s Truth to Our Children’s Lives” that might be a good place to start. But phase three of our Biblical Parenting Essentials is Application, and we have a whole episode about that too. So, you can find that link as well as all the others I’ve mentioned today in the description of this episode. And—speaking of this episode—please share this series with your friends so they too can learn how their children respond to sin and—subsequently—how they can parent their kids to responding in truth instead of delusion. And if you need help for the delusion in yours or your family’s life, please email us at [email protected] or leave a voicemail at (828) 423-0894. I would honored to work with your family to address the truths of the Scripture we need to break down our speculations and delusions. On our next episode we’re going to dig down deeper into the consequences of delusion as we consider the next response our kids may have to their sin . . . fear.
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