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Episode Notes
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TranscriptIntroduction
Welcome back to the show. Season 29 has been all about how and what and how much we teach our kids, and today we’re going to look at one of the biggest consequences of how we teach our kids and whether or not they choose to learn.
You will find links to our free episode notes, transcript, and related resources in the description of this episode, and I hope you’ll click through to those to deepen your study. I also hope you will take a moment to rate and review this show on your preferred podcast software. Rating and reviewing Truth.Love.Parent. has the the dual impact of helping parents find and recognize quality biblical parenting material as well as the extra bonus of encouraging me and the rest of TeamTLP. I’ll be completely transparent with you. This is a hard job. I dedicate hours and hours to researching and producing this material, and the only audience I can see is the computer screen in front of me. You can only imagine that when we receive emails and phone calls and reviews that describe how God is using this show to equip dads and moms to worship God with their parenting, it’s confirmation that we’re making a difference, and it’s so encouraging. Of course, we don’t really need it. If we’re producing this content for God’s glory, we may be like Jeremiah, commanded to preach to an audience he knew would reject him, and yet we can still have peace, joy, contentment, and gratitude in our ministry. But . . . it is nice to know when others are submitting their parenting to the Lord as well. So, please reach out to us. You can leave a voicemail at (828) 423-0894, you can email us at [email protected], or—better yet—you could rate and review us on Apple Podcasts, Facebook, and anywhere else where you can leave a 5-star rating and/or review. And with that extra-chipper intro, let’s talk about a really dark topic: “How to Destroy the World with Your Children.” Wait. Is that clickbait? That sound’s like clickbait. Hmmm, but that doesn’t mean it’s not true. Topic
In the past three months, I’ve been consuming more of the Scriptures on a daily basis than I think I ever have . . . even when I was in seminary. And when you’re reading and listening to large portions of the Bible, it’s easier to see the sweeping truths and trajectories of the people in the Bible.
And, I’ll tell you what, reading through the Old Testament is very distressing in many ways, but one of the biggest depressing truths is how quickly whole nations and people-groups deteriorate from God-following faith and obedience to utter degeneracy and wickedness. But it’s easy to miss that perpetual cycle because we’re more focused on the individuals in the Scriptures than we are the groups. But we have to recognize that the groups are made up of individuals. The trajectory of the group is always a result of the combined trajectories of the individuals. And—since you are an individual that is part of various larger groups (like your family, church, school, community, and nation)—so too your personal trajectory and the trajectories of the other people in your house are actually a very important influence on the trajectory of the larger groups. But before we build out this discussion any more, I want to remind you that my first book has been sent to the printer. That’s right, Quit: How to Stop Family Strife for Good will be hot off the presses in just a couple weeks. But . . . the digital version of the book is already available on the Evermind App. You can use the link in the description to get your digital version for only $8. If you haven’t downloaded the app yet, not a problem, the provided link will give you an opportunity to create a free account, and if you’ve already created an account, you’ll be able to log in and buy the book. I pray that Quit will be exactly what you need to stop the strife in your family . . . for good. Alright, let’s unpack this idea of how you might be destroying the world with your children. I’ve always had this dream of opening a parenting conference with a video of various cute, chubby babies playing and smiling and cooing. And near the face of each child you might read words like, “Future Mom,” “Future Honor Roll Student,” “Future Astronaut,” and “”Future Pastor.” But then—even though the video wouldn’t change (it would still showcase delightful, beautiful infants)—the future predictions would take a drastic and ominous turn. You’d start seeing things like “future rapist, prostitute, embezzler, abortionist, dictator, and satan worshipper.” And that would be jarring for any audience. But it’s true. It’s not for shock value. It’s not for clickbait. The truth is that Hitler was once an adorable baby. There were at least a few months of his life that Charles Manson was a happy infant that cooed and of whom people imagined he would grow up to be any number of noble things. But—instead—he’s known as a homosexual serial killer. That’s what that adorable child eventually became. And the same might be true for our kids. Regardless of how old they are or the choices they’ve made, we’re all one choice away from doing terrible things. Think about how David, a man after God’s own heart, committed adultery with a woman and then had her husband killed. If you think that you and your kids aren’t capable of that, then you don’t have a very biblical view of yourself or your kids. We’re all sinners capable of any number of atrocities, and even if we’ve been saved by grace, we can and do still make very bad choices that cumulatively add up and can start to define the trajectory of our lives. But before we all start freaking out about our kids and grandkids and who or what they may one day become . . . we need to start with this sobering truth. 1. The most important reason to be a biblical parent is God’s glory. I don’t want my attention-grabbing title to mislead us into thinking that the reason we should parent our kids the right way is to keep them from descending into darkness or protect the world from burning. That’s not a Christ-honoring focus. It’s a good secondary motivation, but it shouldn’t be our primary motivation, or it becomes very humanistic. I would hope that anyone who’s listened to this show for any length of time would already know the importance of this point, but I never want to assume. And when it comes to parenting, neither should you. Just like we discussed last time, don’t take for granted that your kids know why they need to do what they do. Always talk about it, because there’s nothing more important you can discuss. That’s also the theme of episode 308: The Point of (nearly) Every Conversation. We need to be revealing God to our kids and calling them to submit to Him at every turn. So, first and foremost, that’s what I want to establish for us right here and right now. The primary reason to be a biblical parent is the glory of God. We don’t parent out of fear. We’re not to be reactionary parents. We’re to be biblical parents who parent the way God commands simply because He deserves our obedience. With that established, let’s move to our second observation. These next few points may once again tempt you to change how you’re parenting because you’re afraid of what may happen to your descendants, so please keep reminding yourself of point number one. 2. You can assume that whatever amount of biblical truth you’re using to parent your kids today, your grandchildren and future generations will likely be parented with less truth. Now, yes, I want to acknowledge the fact that by the miraculous grace of God there are exceptions to this. For example, my parents have told me on numerous occasions that I parent my kids better than they parented me and my sister. I’m not saying that to brag; it’s merely the reality. And I’ll say that my parents parented us way better than either of their parents did. But situations like this are not the norm. History has taught us that the character of a nation de-evolves over time because the character of its individuals becomes less mature. Time and time and time again in the Bible we read how the current generation experienced God’s blessing, miracles, and truth, and they responded in true belief and repentance and submission . . . but then a couple generations later the children and grandchildren of those exact same people turn away from God. One such passage that describes this depressing reality is Judges 2:6-13, “Then Joshua sent the people away, and the sons of Israel went each to his inheritance to possess the land. 7 And the people served Yahweh all the days of Joshua and all the days of the elders who survived Joshua, who saw all the great work of Yahweh which He had done for Israel. 8 Then Joshua the son of Nun, the servant of Yahweh, died at the age of 110. 9 And they buried him in the territory of his inheritance in Timnath-heres, in the hill country of Ephraim, north of Mount Gaash. 10 And all that generation also were gathered to their fathers; and there arose another generation after them who did not know Yahweh or even the work which He had done for Israel. 11 Then the sons of Israel did what was evil in the eyes of Yahweh and served the Baals, 12 and they forsook Yahweh, the God of their fathers, who had brought them out of the land of Egypt, and followed other gods from among the gods of the peoples who were around them and bowed themselves down to them; thus they provoked Yahweh to anger. 13 So they forsook Yahweh and served Baal and the Ashtaroth.” Is this passage trying to communicate that the first generation loved and followed God, but never told their kids about Him? They never took their kids to the tabernacle? Their kids never participated in the feasts and sacrifices? They never heard the stories of how God took them out of Egypt and into the Promised Land? No! In fact, it make far morse sense that a group of people who “served Yahweh all the days of Joshua” would have exposed their children to the Lord and His truth. So, what happened? Well, you can assume that whatever amount of biblical truth you’re using to parent your kids today, your grandchildren and future generations will likely be parented with less truth. That’s typically how it works. That’s how Germany, the center of the Reformation, is so godless today. That’s how America has declined from being a “Christian nation” to a nation of people who want nothing to do with the biblical roots of their nation. This is how Harvard, once a seminary for equipping biblical pastors has become the liberal cesspool that it is. The generational descent of man—barring an act of God—is a real, observable, and traceable trajectory. Therefore, it would not be inappropriate for me to assume that my kids might not be as passionate or knowledgable about God as I am. It’s not far-fetched to imagine that they may not be as diligent to marry well and rear their children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. Now, yes, they may do better than I and my wife. I pray they do! But we parents get ourselves into trouble when we assume all is well or that all will be well, and we relegate our spiritual responsibilities. Yes, give your children the benefit of the doubt that when confronted by God’s Word, they can and will change, but don’t just assume they’ll be more spiritually mature than you even if you don’t pour God’s Word into them. The Bible also tells us that our kids are sinners and are foolish. By the way, I’ve dropped a few episodes into the description for you about your children’s sin. The first is called “What is Your Child's Sin?,” then there’s “What Is Sin and How Does It Work?,” and “Should I Ever Ignore My Child’s Sin?” I pray those will all better equip you to understand and parent your kids. As hard as it may be to imagine, the chances are actually greater that your kids won’t parent their children as well as you have. This potential is greatly multiplied if your kids have not been born again. And then just as they won’t parent their kids in the same amount of biblical truth (if at all)—barring an act of God—their kids will do no better. And then . . . 3. The more time that passes, and the more of your descendants who move away from truth to lies, the greater the impact you will have had on the nation. Of course, most of us don’t really care about this point the way we should because we don’t think about it the way we should. We’re most concerned with our kids—the people who are standing right in front of us—we may give some thought to our grandkids (maybe even before we have any), but I don’t know how many of us are even planning to see our great grandkids. It’s that superficial mindset that is part of the problem. When my ancestors came over on the Mayflower, William and Mary Brewster brought their sons, Love and Wrestling. According to FamilySearch.org, there are over 35 million Mayflower descendants in the world. Of only 26 Mayflower families who left descendants, there are 35 million of them! That means if over the last 400 years all 26 families had the same number of descendants, William and Mary Brewster are the ancestors of 1.35 million people. And in another 400 years, if the Lord tarries, your descendants may account for millions of the population. And those millions of people are going to play a significant part in the overall spiritual temperature of the nation in which they live. And we all know that in the 6,000 or so years since the Creation of the world, every single man, woman, and child descends from Noah, his wife, and their three sons. And when Cain or Ham is your child, the smallest slide over time leads to a world full of pagans. Now, again, it’s important to remind you that Parental Determinism is not biblical. There’s a link in the description to an interview I did with Jim Newheiser entitled, Parenting Is More Than a Formula. And we establish very firmly that you cannot guarantee your kids will turn out as followers of Christ. Also, let’s remind ourselves of the first point we learned—our highest priority for parenting in Christ needs to be God’s sole honor and glory. It doesn’t matter if our kids hate us and reject our teaching, we must remain faithful to our Father. So, why would I even publish and episode like this? What’s the point? The point, my friends, is discernment. We have to be wise. We have to realize that choices have consequences. We need to understand that our parental influence in one way or another will play into the spiritual maturity of future generations. And though we have a responsibility to God, we also have a responsibility to our kids and our grandkids and great grandkids to love them by being salt and light for Christ here and now in our metaphorical Jerusalem. Therefore, we have a calling, and that calling is . . . 4. The highest responsibility you have is to rear your kids in as much of the nurture and admonition of the Lord as humanely possible. I’ve been an actor since the late 1900’s, I’ve directed numerous productions, and I’ve taught improv, acting, and public speaking. And I always give all of my students and actors the same advice: if you want your audience to experience this (and I use my hand to mark a line in the air), then you will need to perform here (and I use my other hand to identify a level far above the one they want their audience to experience). And the same goes for teaching and—by extension—parenting. If I want my kids to walk away with only 60% of the material from the book, I need to make sure I teach all 100% of the material. You never know what’s going to stick and why. All you can do is passionately unfold the curriculum, strive for those “AH Moments,” and trust God to do the rest. But if I only teach 60% of the material, one thing is for sure, unless they have another teacher or tutor, or they’re motivated to take up the book and learn the other 40% for themselves, they will never learn more than the 60% I’ve taught them. And it’s also a very good possibility they won’t actually walk away with much more than 35% of the information I taught. In the same way that even though biblical parents can’t control their kids, we try to make it as easy to do right and hard to do wrong as possible, so too we make it easier to learn more and become more when we teach them more. Your kids will always need more truth spoken into their lives. How do I know that? I’m a professional biblical counselor and conference speaker . . . and I need it every day! You and your kids are not some miraculous exceptions to the rule. We’re all sinners who—like dogs—return so often to our own vomit and do what’s right in our own eyes. And my kids are the same. They need me to be a consistent, passionate, convincing biblical parent who presents the truths of Scripture in teaching, reproof, correction, and training, and calls on them to not merely learn and understand it, but to believe it because that’s what their Creator deserves. And the more I do that, the more I’m a Gospel Parent who weaves the eternal truths of God into every fiber of our day, the more they’ll learn, and—Lord willing—the more they’ll be changed by it. Conclusion
Now, I have no control over whether my kids and grandkids and great grandkids will submit to Christ. But I do have control over how I will live and parent. And I know that the whole course of human history has taught me that nations generally decline as the individuals in that nation decline. And I know that it’s statically probable that my children won’t be as mature as I am. Therefore, I want to set them up for as much success as possible by bringing them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.
And I pray that if God doesn’t return in the next 400 or 4,000 years that the Brewster lineage will be one that not only follows Him, but also has a Christ-honoring impact on the world. But all I can do is my part, and I know that God deserves for me to parent to the best of my ability for Him. Please share this episode on your favorite social media outlets so that other Christian dads and moms can come to the hard realization that their parenting today may influence the future of the world more than they ever dreamed. And if that reality shakes you to your core, and you know you owe God better than you’ve been giving Him, please write to us at [email protected] or leave a voicemail at (828) 423-0894. We’re two episodes away from our last show of Season 29, and I hope to see you at both. On our next episode we’re going to tackle a controversial topic concerning whether it’s really valuable or not for your children to attend college. I’ll see you then, and don’t forget to get your digital copy of Quit: How to Stop Family Strife for Good for only $8 in the Evermind App!
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