Discover even more places to enjoy Truth.Love.Parent.
Episode Notes
Click the link below to download the PDF.
TranscriptIntroduction
Welcome to our 550th episode and Part 3 of our preview to Expectational Education, an educational philosophy that teaches parents, pastors, counselors, coaches, and teachers to equip those under them to accomplish their best in all things.
As always, today’s episode comes with free episode notes, a transcript, and links to a wide library of related resources. Simply check out the description of today’s episode to access them. Today we’re going to talk about the first of two main approaches to setting expectations. It’s called the Universal Approach, and I pray that by the end of today’s episode, you will see your children in a very new light. So, let’s begin. Topic
When it comes to identifying Appropriate High Expectations for our kids, we must start with a broad, sweeping look at humanity, or—more specifically—at children and young people.
You may have heard the statement, “Don’t miss the forest for the trees.” This idiom communicates that you not lose the big picture because you’re so focused on the intricate details. Well, in Expectational Education, we find that we can only identify the best expectations when we look at both the forest and the trees. It’s not that we don’t want to consider the tree—that’s very important and must not be missed—but we will never correctly identify what the tree needs until we have first considered what all the trees need in general. Today’s episode will consider the forest, and next week’s will consider the tree. But before we get into some forestry, I want to remind you that this series is being brought to you by MyPillow. If you go to MyPillow.com using the link in the description, or you use the promo code “evermind,” you can get some amazing discounts on everything from pillows to sheets to towels to coffee. I’ve been enjoying my MyPillow 2.0 for a couple weeks now, and I can say that I really do love it. My last pillow was made out of memory foam, and—in short—it was terrible. It was far too stiff, and it didn’t provide my head and neck the proper support. I’ve been enjoying the MyPillow 2.0 not only because it’s so comfortable, but because it has special cooling technology. It’s so easy for me to overheat in bed—especially because my wife loves to use a heating pad all year round. Thankfully, my pillow is no longer part of the problem. It doesn’t radiate all my own body heat back on to me. Each and every purchase you make from MyPillow.com using the code “evermind” not only gets you deep discounts, but MyPillow will donate a percentage of your purchase to the ministry. It’s a win for everyone. Visit MyPillow.com/evermind today. And now let’s see our kids in an exciting new way. A philosophical bedrock of Expectational Education is that educators absolutely must utilize a universal approach to determine appropriate high expectations for their students. If we do not use this approach, we’re going to fall into the same trap into which modern educators fall. A couple episodes ago I talked about how the American school system has no idea what our children are capable of accomplishing. Because of that we see lower and lower expectations every year. And our students are gladly accepting the invitations to failure. And what’s really sad is that the schools who believe they’re pushing back against the low expectations because their students have better test scores, they too all too often only have moderate expectations for their students. As we learned before, moderate expectations are simply low expectations masquerading in complacency. Now, I never want to extinguish the passion and drive that parents and educators have to help their kids succeed. Quite the opposite, in fact. But that doesn’t mean that I simply applaud low expectations. I want to take those same parents and teachers and give them some biblical and historical glasses so they can rightly see their students and expectations the way God does. For this reason, the Universal Perspective is unique to Expectational Education because it balances what we know about a person with what we know about mankind as a whole. Now, the Universal Perspective does not favor the experiences of any one nation. It’s not interested in nationalism because it seeks to understand the potential and power of all students in general—mankind as a whole. The Universal Approach is also unique because it rejects the idea that modern man is somehow better than ancient man. We’re not more evolved . . . in fact, the Bible teaches that—despite our technological advances—we have de-evolved in more ways than we are comfortable admitting. Therefore, the individual’s potential is understood not through the narrow lens of modern exceptionalism, but through the encompassing lens of human history. Only when such a perspective is adopted can we see that our students are capable of far more than we realize. And this is where I get excited. It’s so easy to become complacent and lazy when we compare our little A-students to all the underachievers in our world. But when we see what our children are really capable of accomplishing, I hope it breaks off the educational shackles which bind our imaginations and kicks open the door to a whole new world of possibilities. Just listen to this short list.
Now, with the exception of Mozart, this list focused mostly on teens, but that’s not to suggest that children younger than 13 aren’t capable of far more than that for which we give them credit. In fact, I’m going to argue that for a 12 or 13 year old to marry, start having kids, run a farm, start a business, or rule a kingdom, they had to be much more mature in the years leading up to 12 or 13. You’re not going to take a typical 8 year old in America and imagine that when they turn 12, they’ll do a great job starting a family. I plan on talking about it much more at the beginning of Season 30, but the average American has a really messed up plan for preparing their kids for adulthood. It’s messed up because most people don’t actually have a plan, but for those who do, their expectations are way too low. They’ve believed the lie that you’re not an adult until your 18, and they’ve also believed the lie that you shouldn’t treat children like adults, so they’ve been bankrolling their teenagers extended childhood only to expect them to start acting like adults at the magical age of 18. But the Bible shows us a very different idea. There are no teenagers in the Bible. What I mean to say is there are children, and there are adults. Sure, they may be young adults. Sure, they may have a lot left to learn, but they’re adults. They’ve put off childish things, and they’re functioning as the adults God created them to be. For thousands of years societies have unilaterally agreed that you become an adult when your body transitions into puberty. The idea is that when you’re old enough to procreate, you should be old enough to procreate. And the assumption up until recently has been that procreation was done by adults in a biblical family structure. Now, I know that what I’m saying can sound ludicrous. But it only sounds that way for two reasons. The first is that we all recognize the fact that we don’t know a single 15 year old who we would say is “ready to have kids.” But do you know why it’s that way? It’s that way because of the second reason—we haven’t taught them how to be a good parent when they’re 15. In fact, we’re not even teaching them how to be good parents at 18 because our society has decided that 18 is still too young. Well, as long as we keep inviting our young people to fail by having low expectations for them, they will be more than happy to fall to the lowest expectation . . . and then further still. Now, this is a bit of a rabbit-trail, and I don’t want to lose anyone here, so let me tie all this together. This is not me arguing that our teens need be starting families. I’ve been saying that the application of Expectational Education extends far beyond the formal school room. It needs to be the foundation of my parenting. If I consider the universal perspective on children and teens, then I will have biblically high expectations for my kids that they can and should be far more mature than other kids their age. They should be blossoming into the young adults God wants them before they finish puberty. Now, don’t cram a bunch of assumptions into what I’m saying. I recognize that most of us live in countries where young people are not legally allowed to marry under the age of 18. Again, I’m not saying we break the law. And even if it were legal tomorrow, the majority of our kids would be too spiritually immature to please the Lord in it. But that’s the point. We need to be helping them mature beyond where they are and far beyond where the world says they should be. I’m also not saying that we kick our 13 year old out of the house to get his own apartment. That kind of thinking is absolutely tainted by the World’s understanding of what it is to be an adult. According to the Scriptures, to be an adult is to be at a certain stage in your physical maturity, and to be a mature adult is to be spiritually mature. We need to be teaching our kids how to love, trust, and obey God. We need to have high biblical expectations that they should and can glorify Him with their choices. Then as they transition into adulthood, we can help them continue to grow in those truths. And we need to stop making excuses for our kids’ sinful behavior. It doesn’t matter than they’re 2 or that they’re teenagers. God wants them to be more, and He capacitates them to rise to His expectations. The point is, if your kids had been born centuries or a millennia ago, the expectations for their behavior and life choices would be sooooooo much higher than what the World expects of them today. And, you know what, the majority of your kids would have risen to the Appropriate High Expectations of the time. So, my desire is to raise your home’s and your school’s and your church’s understanding about what we can be in the power of God and to the glory of God. Now, back to more formal ideas concerning education. Please note that the Universal Perspective is not interested in judging educational methods and styles whether ancient or modern, First World or Third World. This is not about comparing the school systems of America and China or Classical Conversations with BJU Press. The Universal Perspective is most interested in determining the potential and power of children and teens overall. Where as the Modern Perspective would have us see children as so much less than they are, the Universal Perspective helps us to see that our children and young adults are capable of so much more than our society currently expects of them. For those of you who don’t already know, this Modern Perspective I’m referencing started taking root in American in the early 1900’s. While child labor laws are quite valuable, like most government programs, the legislation which removed the kids from the sweatshops lacked nuance and foresight. No one should be surprised to discover that the government created even more problems than they solved. And I’m not arguing that we should have kids in sweatshops. What I want us to see is that in their attempt to address the scores of children who now no longer had anything productive to do with their lives, compulsory schooling became the government’s answer. The government didn’t create compulsory education because they fundamentally believed that all children needed to be educated, they just wanted the urchins off the streets. The quality of the education offered and the fact that it was created primarily to provide very little more than supervision resulted in an education whose very genesis had nothing to do with appropriate high expectations. For the first time in human history, education actually started to devolve in America, but this was not due to the ability or maturity of the students, it had everything to do with keeping the machine running. Government programs not only have a tendency to mediocrity, they also often have a very counter-productive effect—creating far more problems than they solve. Fast-forward 100 years, and we can see just how much we’ve lowered the expectations for our students. Have you ever looked at the “curriculum” of ancient schools? You can even go back to the 1800’s if you want. There are many adults today who would not be able to understand what children were being taught just a couple hundred years ago in this country. And it’s not because we’re stupider. It’s because no one has ever expected us to do any better. It’s not that we’re not capable of greater Cognitive and Spiritual Maturity, we just don’t have any reason so push ourselves. Do you remember what I said a couple episodes ago about genius being expected? Sure, there are those who are expecting great things of themselves, but there are fewer and fewer who are having great things expected of them. In Expectational Education, we believe the Universal Approach helps us have a more accurate understanding of the potential of any given student’s cognitive abilities and spiritual maturity because it assumes they are at least capable of achieving the average of what people their age have been achieving since the beginning of time. And the average of what young people have been achieving since the beginning of time is significantly higher than what they’re achieving today. Now, after all of that, you might say, “Okay, Aaron, I agree, it can be empirically proven that people in general were doing more at younger ages than they are in America today. But is it right to just assume that my child could do those same things? Is it right to assume that my child could create the Braille language or write a symphony or rule a country?” And to that question I say simply, “Yes.” That’s what the Universal Approach is for. It helps us lift our expectations for what may be possible. Now, as I said at the beginning, we need both the Universal and Individual Approaches. We need to consider the forest—all trees at large—and carefully look at the individual tree in front of us. It’s the Universal Approach that gives us the parameters, and it’s the Individual Approach that provides the tools. Allow me to use a metaphor where learning is being compared to architecture. Let’s say that the Modern Approach claims that a 16 year old is only capable of building a chicken coop. And so the Individualized Approach would seek to provide the 16 year old with all the supplies and tools necessary to build that chicken coop to the best of their ability. Maybe this 16 year old needs a better hammer than other 16 year olds. Maybe that 16 year old can handle different building materials than another. That’s the Individualized Approach functioning within the Modern Perspective of what 16 year olds are capable of doing. But with the Universal Approach, we can look backward through time and across the globe to learn that a 16 year old is actually capable of building a summer cottage. With that framework for Appropriate High Expectations, the Individualized Approach then seeks to equip this one 16 year old with the tools and supplies necessary to achieve those Appropriate High Expectations. And yes, different 16 year olds will need different tools or supplies, but when it’s all said and done, they will have a summer cottage . . . not a chicken coop. And that’s why we need to start with the Universal Approach. We need to recognize that God has created people with the ability to be and do far more than they realize. When we look universally at what people have accomplished in the past and what they’re accomplishing across the globe, we should easily come to the conclusion that we—as the average westerners—are not achieving what we should be able to accomplish. Biblically speaking, God says “Be holy as I am holy,” but so much of the Western church is still singing “Deep and Wide” to our kids. They don’t even know what God’s holiness is . . . let alone how to be it! Conclusion
Earlier I said, “I pray that by the end of today’s episode, you see your children in a very new light.” I hope you can look at your kids and say, “Regardless of how mature they are today, I know that by the grace of God, they can be far more mature than even I realized.” And the same goes for you and for me.
Now, some people are energized by that realization. They see the exciting prospect of what they and their family can be, and it lights a fire under them to help them achieve those Appropriate High Expectations. But others get overwhelmed looking at the difference between what we are and what we could be. If you’re in that first group, awesome. That’s what I want for you. Be encouraged. Light that fire. See how awesome your family can be by the grace of God and to the glory of God. I believe the tenets of Expectational Education can help you achieve them. But if you’re in the second group, let me encourage you to simplify the situation. Remind yourself that God wants everyone in your home to do their best. We can all agree on that. And—sure—you may have been functioning off the wrong idea of your family’s best. You may have had too low of expectations. It is what it is. For now, let’s focus on simply taking God at His Word. Once we have done that, Expectational Education can help you take the next steps to actually helping each member of your family grow into the Appropriate High Expectations God has for them. To use another forestry metaphor, don’t get overwhelmed by the idea of having to chop down a whole forest. Just focus on the one tree in front of you, and we’ll move to the next when the time comes. I strongly encourage all of you to listen to The 5th Way to Parent series. It and a bunch of other resources are linked in the description of this episode, and it will help each of you make certain that your expectations—whatever they may be—are pleasing to the Lord. And speaking of expectations, I expect that you will lovingly share this material with your friends, fellow teachers, pastors, and family. Let’s help each other’s families be as awesome as they can be. And if you are a Christian school teacher or homeschooler, I would love to speak at your school during a teacher inservice training or at your co-op. I have spoken at a number of teacher’s conventions, and I would like to connect with more homeschooling conferences. So, if you are running any of those or know people who are, will you please share my name with them. Truth.Love.Family. is passionate about equipping families to glorify God to the best of their ability, and we’d be honored to serve yours. And—speaking of serving your family—we still have biblical counseling slots as well as coaching and discipleship slots available. Anyone who signs up for counseling, discipleship, or coaching before the end of July will receive a 50% discount on all of their sessions until they are done. Just write to us at [email protected] or leave a voicemail at (828) 423-0894. I’ll see you next time as we continue our study of Expectational Education. To that end, we’ll be discussing the other side of expectations as we look at the Individual Approach.
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
Receive UpdatesJoin The TLP Family and receive email updates when we publish new articles and episodes.
Subscribe to Our Podcast Categories
All
Archives
September 2024
|
||||||||
RSS Feed
