Day 30: PurposeProverbs 29:18 Where there is no prophetic vision the people cast off restraint, but blessed is he who keeps the law. Belly buttons were the subject of our dinner conversation, so I asked, “How are babies attached to their mommies?” One of my sons, eager to express his newfound knowledge, shouted out . . .
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Day 29: SurrenderProverbs 16:9 The heart of man plans his way, but the LORD establishes his steps. “Magic sand,” he said with mystery as he climbed into the minivan. His brother looked at him curiously, so he explained: “I have magic sand and if I put it in my pocket, it will turn into money. He then proceeded to theatrically pull out a brand new five-dollar bill.
“Where’d you get that?” his brother asked. “Magic sand,” was the reply. At home, we finally coaxed it from our son that . . . Day 28: ShepherdingProverbs 6:20-23 My son, keep your father's commandment, and forsake not your mother's teaching. Bind them on your heart always; tie them around your neck. When you walk, they will lead you; when you lie down, they will watch over you; and when you awake, they will talk with you. For the commandment is a lamp and the teaching a light, and the reproofs of discipline are the way of life. Dads, shepherd your children as their protector and provider. Like the Good Shepherd, lay down your life for them (John 10:11). Consider one simple shepherding practice which has yielded some of my favorite parenting memories. Schedule to meet with each of your children once a week on a designated day. My children call it their special time with daddy. You can do anything you want during this time: wrestle, have pillow fights, eat ice cream, watch football, play a game, or read a book. You can ask about their day or what they learned in Sunday School that week. Sometimes when I’m tired, I just close my eyes and let them talk about whatever they want to talk about (which usually ends up being sports or Star Wars). Occasionally, you can introduce spiritual conversations or pray with them. Perhaps read a theology book for kids and encourage their questions. During our special time, we often discuss the Scripture passage our church will study on the upcoming Sunday. Then as we read it together, they always have questions. Dads, never be afraid of questions. It’s perfectly fine to say, “That’s a great question,” or, “Let’s study it together,” or, “Why don’t we ask for help.” My children often ask questions that no adult has ever asked in all my years of ministry and I simply have to answer, “I don’t know.”
For example . . . Day 27: DisciplineProverbs 13:24 Whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him. “Train up a child in the way he should go” (Prov. 22:6a) means, “Don’t let your child do whatever he wants.” For Proverbs teaches that discipline is both necessary and good: “Whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him” (13:24). “Discipline your son, for there is hope; do not set your heart on putting him to death” (19:18; see 23:13-14).
Dads, consider three simple words for the practice of discipline . . . Day 25: TruthProverbs 30:5 Every word of God proves true; he is a shield to those who take refuge in him. “Train up a child in the way he should go” (Prov. 22:6a) literally means, “Train up a child upon the mouth of his way.” For “upon the mouth” or “from the lips” was a Hebrew idiom meaning, “according to,” or, “in accord with,” like a servant waiting eagerly at the beck and call of his master. The word “way” occurs nearly seventy times in Proverbs to describe the habitual choices and direction one takes in life. Picture trudging back-and-forth through a field of grass until you have carved a well-worn path. So also, you must habitually walk in the way of the Lord until it becomes second nature to your life.
Day 24: ObedienceProverbs 1:7-8 The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge; fools despise wisdom and instruction. Hear, my son, your father's instruction, and forsake not your mother's teaching. When my son started second grade, I asked him what he had learned in school and his answer was intriguing. He said his teacher was instructing them how to be second graders. Curious, I asked, “What does that mean?” He replied with his chest puffed out: “In first grade we just had to listen, but in second grade we also must remember.” That is a good lesson for all of us. We must not merely listen to God’s Word, but also remember and obey (Jas. 1:22). Unfortunately, fathers your little rebels often find obedience to be difficult.
Late one evening . . . Day 23: LoveProverbs 15:17 Better is a dinner of herbs where love is than a fattened ox and hatred with it. Raising children requires a foundation of love. Hall-of-Fame baseball player Harmon Killebrew once shared how, as a child, he destroyed the lawn fielding grounders with his dad. When his mother commented on the trampled grass, his dad replied, “Honey, we’re not raising grass here. We’re raising boys.” Similarly, Proverbs 15:17 explains, “Better is a dinner of herbs where love is than a fattened ox and hatred with it.” Dads, even if your mouth waters over a really juicy steak, it is still better to chew on salad surrounded by a loving family. Your kids rarely need more stuff, but they do need your love. Labor to build a relationship with your children because all the money in the world can fill your house with things, but it cannot make a family.
Love your children with your time by remembering four basic words . . . Day 22: Disciple-MakingProverbs 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it. One day, my son asked me why I still had children. It was an oddly-phrased question, so I asked him to explain: “What else would I do with my children?”
He suggested, “You could sell them.” I replied jokingly, “I don’t think I could get very much for them.” So he insisted, “I think you could get $6 million for each of your children.” A little quick math: That’s $24 million (much more than the cost to raise them). Yet unfortunately dads, we cannot sell our kids, so it’s time we learned to parent them. Day 21: MarriageProverbs 5:18 Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice in the wife of your youth. Our boys always get a kick out of certain Proverbs. For example, “It is better to live in a corner of the housetop than in a house shared with a quarrelsome wife” (21:9). “It is better to live in a desert land than with a quarrelsome and fretful woman” (v. 19).
“Why don’t you want to live in a desert?” “Because it’s hot.” “Why don’t you want to live on the corner of the roof?” “It might rain.” “Why don’t you want to live with a quarrelsome wife?” “Because she will make you sad.” “Did you know that some mommies and daddies fight all the time?” “Really?” It struck me as we were talking that my boys had never observed . . . Day 20: ConductProverbs 20:11 Even a child makes himself known by his acts, by whether his conduct is pure and upright. Imagine, if you will, an apple tree in your backyard. The branches, which once boasted lush foliage, are now withered and bare. The sickly trunk leans off to one side. The fruit, once plentiful, has fallen to the ground to rot. Think how foolish it would be to approach that tree with a ladder, a staple gun, and a bucket full of red delicious apples. If you tried to staple those apples to that sickly tree, they would rot within days because the problem is the root and not the fruit (Mark 7:21-23; Luke 6:43-45).
So also, dads, your child’s sinful conduct begins in the heart. You can paint their fruit red as much as you like, but a sinful heart makes that an exercise in futility (Jer. 17:9). |
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